jamiemichellebiotch

Maybe because you depend on it.. Maybe because you just are not ready. Eating disorders consume your every thought and action. You spend less time with your friends and more time concentrating on your eating disorder. The more attention you give it the harder it gets to even think about anything else. I suggest therapy so you can have someone you can REALLY talk to with no judgement involved. You learn coping mechanisms and one day you WILL kick it. You always have to remember that you have to take control.. It may seem impossible but it’s not.. Just remember how much your family and friends love you.. NOT your weight. I had to learn to love myself before I could get better, and I think it’s that way for everybody.
Best wishes-
Jamie

I know it’s hard. Everybody is telling you that you are killing yourself like you don’t know that already. Your friends eventually find out as does your family, and everybody loses it. I actually picked up my eating disorder from a magazine.. a fucking “seventeen” or some stupid shit like that.. It told me about the dangers of eating disorders but all I saw was a way to lose weight fast. I was 16 and just a little over 200 lbs and about 5’10”.. I’m tall. In just over a year I dropped to 110 lbs and people started to notice me now.. I was in heaven! Boys wanted me, my friends wanted to be me and I owed it all to my new best friend: Ed. However, Ed was not my friend. I began losing my hair and my family became so worried about me. When I was about a month shy of 18, I was sent to out patient rehab in San Diego California. I picked out the most expensive place I could find just to be a bitch, and by that point my father and step-mother would have paid anything to get me over my problem.. Because it was out patient rehab, I blew it off. I was completely bored with it all. I was not going to stop and nobody could make me. I cussed out the people who were trying to help me.. screw em’. I just wanted to go back to Texas. So I did.. It took me the whole next year to get over my eating disorder, and I had to do it on my own. Nobody can make you stop binging, or start eating.. It’s a total control powered disorder. One day I just decided that I wanted to quit, and my willpower is so strong that I actually did it. However I soon turned to drugs(cocaine) as a different method of not gaining weight. Addictions are tricky people, but when you really want it you can stop. I stopped doing cocaine and I stopped binging and purging, but all I really had to do is just set my mind to it. Some people may be different. I hope this helps somebody.. The point of this story is, Don’t try to quit for someone else, do it for yourself and it makes it so much easier to tell ED to fuck off..

I’ve been clean of Cocaine for about 5 months now. I found out I was pregnant like a month after I decided to quit, and I think it was just my body’s own weird way of telling me. I told my fiance that he had to quit as well because I did not want to raise a child in that sort of environment. He promised he would but still sneaks around behind my back and does coke and smokes pot. It drives me crazy because he always says “It’s just harder for me” which I think is bullshit.. It’s only hard to quit if you don’t want to quit. It’s well worth it, You will become yourself again for the first time since you started using and people will finally start to trust you again. Quitting coke is the best thing I have ever done..