jbondoc730

I can’t write too much about this because… for some reason… I just know it hurts to much to actually face how I’m feeling. Some people put on a brave face when their with others and cry on their own. I can’t even do that. I just put it off all together and hope I’ll get used to being with out him soon enough. Like I’m going to trick myself into forgetting he was ever around.
I spoke to him last night and I realized how easily he makes me feel like shit.
I spent the long weekend with my friends and without speaking to him because he was away on a trip.
I felt good about myself and I had a great time. We had a million laugh out loud moments, I got picked up and hit on a few time.. which.. I have to say DID make me feel better about a few things.. and I thought that by the time he’d get back and we’d chat about the weekend, I’d be all right.
I was excited to talk to him, because I thought I would be talking to my best friend.
Instead I was reminded of what it was really like. He was completely uninterested in what I had to say, and really just wanted to rub in my face the weekend he had. He waited until I finished my story, then abruptly told me it was time for him to go to sleep. Cold, cold, cold. It made me feel… the way he always made me feel… boring, bland, uninteresting and shitty. For a moment, I saw myself as he saw me.
I know I put way too much into what he thinks, and I let it affect me. Only this time, it got me angry. I just wish I didn’t miss him so much. I hate this.

Eat right?
Exercise 3 times a week?
Join the gym again.

1. Vacuumed upstairs and down
2. Windex the windows
3. Dusted surfaces
4. Room is clean
5. Washroom is clean
6. Laundry is done

Every Saturday or sunday?