jedimojo

I never achieved this goal and I think it was because I was trying to do too much and stressing out too much and I caught a virus because I was run down. I feel really sad about this.

I started a new job… which is what I wanted. The transition has been stressful and for the last five weeks I feel like a swan. On top, I look as though I am gliding gracefully but on the bottom I am paddling like hell. Then I got a virus and broke out in a terrible cold sore on my lower lip that looked like liposuction gone wrong. But I did not take any time off since I only just started the job. I didn’t want to take time of because of this and also the fact that everyone said that the guy before me had a nervous breakdown and went off sick before totally losing it for good in the first few weeks of the job. So I went to work but I didn’t go to the gym as religiously as I had been. I missed about six days and I think this set me back a bit.

Anyway, I gained three pounds back and now I am so upset at myself. Stress and feelings of sadness are my binging triggers and I have been indulging in one more slice of pizza when I shouldn’t have and I bought those M&M peanuts when I knew I should not have. I’ve had some cakes and mousse (eeek) and I think that fish and chips with a lager shandy meal should have gone amiss as well.

Anyway, I am back on track again. I am not sure I will reach this goal but I might as well keep trying for it. This morning, I had a good breakfast and now I am going to the gym as soon as my mother-in-law shows up to watch the kids for me. Let’s see how I do.

In my head, this place is mine. I need to redecorate it. But it would be a labour of love. In my head and heart, it’s my house and I am so excited to have it. I want this house so very much. I want to listen to the birds singing outside in the morning and have a stroll through the garden in the evening.

I would be able to be such a great gardener in this house. That would be two of my things done. I really want this house.