jenacie4u

I started ditching, I started showing up late on a regular basis, I did not care, I knew what I was doing and was upset at myself for the choices I made. Reason being my situation at home.. That is how I rebelled. I knew I was hurting myself , but not in the long run! I never thought…That was the problem… I wanted to do ,what I wanted to do, and thats that! Now it’s 2007/2008 and I have attempted to go back to school,but something comes up, or , I just don’t wanna. I seriously need to further my education. I thought about teaching, criminal justice, Duh! I need to have a g.e.d , high school diploma, something stating I finished… I think to myself about what if I stayed in school, My graduation, the prom, Cheerleading! Fun, Fun,Fun… Then to be disappointed at myself because I did not finish… There is only one thing to do, and that is to go back. You are NEVER to old or to young to go back! Thats what I say to myself and others.. The thing is getting up and going, taking that step, staying!

As I watch Adult movies I sit and stare,I start to feel turned on, at the sight,. how good it looks, how good it must feel, wondering if I would ever experience such, wondering with who? I visualize myself and two men, hands all over my body, grabbin hands,grabbin all they can, one behind and one in front, The wanting, the chills, the thrill, the fantasy,.

I want to love and laugh, look back and laugh. Now is not the time, For I am lost, found, lost again! Love, trust, dating, jobs, more children , marriage, put on pause! For I am not ready. A maze I am in at this time in my life , stuck in the beginning of the middle .