jennythemonster

Fuck society.

Seriously, fuck society, and anyone who condemns you for not having the “perfect body.” Fuck that shit. It’s stupid, it’s heartless, it’s brainwashing, it’s horrible.

You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. You don’t have to be “skinny” to be beautiful, or sexy, or worthy of love. Don’t worry about being “skinny,” worry about being healthy in your own body, and confident in yourself.

You CAN be healthy without being “skinny.” Today’s view of “skinny” looks more unhealthy to me than anything. I exercise every day, eat kosher, don’t even eat that much in general, and I’m not skinny. I’m a chub. My thighs touch, and jiggle, my ass is huge, but I’m not a slob. My body is just my body.

Do I love it? No. Should I? Fuck yes I should. It’s my body. Just because I’m not society’s definition of perfect doesn’t mean that I’m not beautiful. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be treated with respect & love, as a human being.

And at the end of the day—what you look like on the outside doesn’t amount to ANYTHING compared to who you are on the inside.

So stand tall. Love yourself. Fuck society. Be who you want to be. Love always. If you have people in your life who bring you down over something as stupid as your weight, dump their asses and fill their places with people who love you for who you are.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

While having complete faith & praying more are similar, they’re still both very separate goals I have in mind. They go hand in hand as well, since talking to YHWH (God) in general, is a good way to develop more faith. If you continuously speak with Him, it becomes easier to believe that He’s there, and listening to you. And it also becomes easier to never underestimate the power of that prayer, which is exactly what this goal is about.

Prayer is one of the biggest aspects of a relationship with YHWH, which so many people take for granted. Praying is a direct link to YHWH’s heart & mind, and it’s completely free for us, and takes absolutely no effort at all. So why is it so easy for us to forget, or toss aside as unimportant? I really don’t know, but I do know that I’m guilty of both of those things, and I want to change it.

More than anything, I want to get to a point where I can talk to YHWH just the same way I talk to any of my friends, or other people in my life. YHWH shouldn’t be “just a deity” to me, He should be one of the closest friends I have. I want Him as my best friend, my Abba, my love, everything. I want to enjoy talking to Him the same way I talk to anyone else. Why shouldn’t I?

Do you ever wonder how it feels seeing the children you created have the time of their lives with others, but completely ignore you? That’s kind of what a lot of us do all the time. And when I think of it that way, it makes me sad. I don’t want YHWH to feel ignored. Sure, He knows my heart, and He knows I love Him… but He has feelings just like anyone else in the world, as well.

Being spoken to, as a friend, is a wonderful feeling. And I want YHWH to have that feeling as well, from me. It will bring me closer to Him, it will help me trust Him more, and it’s just a beautiful showing of love. Not to mention that through prayer, we access His power, and that should never be underestimated. I can’t even decide which of these first two goals is the most important to me, but either way, I want to achieve them both.

Once, I was more concerned about getting closer to YHWH (God) in general, but over the years, I have come to realize that He’s always with me, even on the days when I can’t feel Him as much as I’d like to. Of course, I could always stand to get a little closer, but at the moment, I feel really content with where I am in regards to my relationship with Him.

Having complete faith in Him? That’s a little harder. I know He’s there, and I don’t doubt that, but I just find myself worrying over little things that I shouldn’t be worried over, or being afraid when I should know that I’m always protected. I find myself taking matters into my own hooves (yes, I’m a brony & proud), instead of first turning to Him for guidance.

I view myself as an independent girl and I know there’s nothing bad about me making my own decisions. But I still want YHWH to be a part of those decisions, and to help me, and guide me down the path I’m meant to be on. I want to trust that He’ll always be there, no matter what, and I’m going to be alright. I want to know that He’ll never put me through anything I can’t face, and that I’ll always be safe as long as I have faith in Him.

That’s the main thing I want to get better at in regards to my faith. Just believing that YHWH has the power to do absolutely anything, and that He’s never going to let me down. I hope someday I can achieve that.