jhizzel

I don’t know why I hate myself but I do. I never feel like I’m achieving what I should, I always feel like I let myself and others down. Nobody ever says I let them down, in fact I seem to be one of the people others complain about the least out of everyone. I guess it must just be all in my own mind. Maybe I’m setting myself standards I can’t reach and when I get close to reaching the standards I want I raise them higher again so they’re always just out of reach. It’s almost as if I want to hate myself.
I suppose it started when my dad died and I moved away from Belgium back to England so I was wisked away to a new country where I didn’t know anyone just when I needed my closest friends the most. I’ve always blamed myself for my dad dying really even though deep down i know it can’t be my fault.
Anyways sorry I’m going on here. Just started typing then it all started flowing out.

I absolutely love acting, I’ve only been doing it for about 6 months and I just can’t get enough of it, I find it really liberating. I would love to make a carer out of it but I fear I’ve discovered my passion for it too late to acheive this ambition as I’m already 17 now.

When I was younger I lived in Belgium (born in England though) and now I’ve moved back to the UK, for a few years now.
I find it amazing how you can take a boat between these two nations in just an hour or two, yet they are so different.
Sure the weather’s the same and stuff like that but nothing important.
Looking at the culture, arcitecture etc. at first may not seem that different but when you get into it you realise just how differnet these two countries are.
I personally much prefer Belgium but that may just be because I was raised there, to me England is nice but has never really felt like home.
Later in life I would love to go and live in the far east, probably Japan!!!