jiggskc

Recently, while traveling to the California African American Museum, I spent a good two hours wandering around their historic and contemporary exhibits. Left of the Concierge desk, as you enter, you will come across Harlem of the West: Jazz, Bebop & Beatnik, a collection of 40’s, 50’s, and early 60’s jazz era songs, stories, pictures and icons. Here is where i found the voice of Bob Kaufman. I’d heard a little about the man years prior when studying the Beat Generation; but somehow standing here feeling his vibe, his words meant more. The audio was streamed in from speakers above, and the placard on the wall presented bits of his story.

After learning of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Kaufman took a Buddhist vow of silence that lasted until the end of the Vietnam War in 1973. He broke his silence by reciting his poem “All Those Ships that Never Sailed,” the first lines of which are:
All those ships that never sailed
The ones with their seacocks open
That were scuttled in their stalls…
Today I bring them back
Huge and intransitory
And let them sail
Forever

Silence has been finding it’s way little by little into my life; like it was passing me a note, telling a profound story – bearing witness to brief moments in my life. The stillness of a patient God -showing me some clarity.

On December 17th, 2009 at 9:00 in the PM, after i finish my last final, my Vow of Silence will begin. Undoubtedly, people close to me, as well as strangers who want to converse with me will ask me why? Why are you mute? Why is your purpose? Is everything okay? They will inquire with great opposition, offering suggestions as to how i can better get through this trial. The anticipatory resentment will come not to long after the first day of silence. Surely, i’ll feel that they have a right to know … why. “There has to be a reason. Make him tell us. Are you trying to copy that kid from Little Miss Sunshine?” Voices will clash. Words will splash off my face like a hard rain. Whatever the attempt, grasping at media references, reference of slogans, sound bytes racing through their brains, whatever i could write down for them, or inaudibly gesture, will not be enough. So i won’t say anything. You will have to say it for me.

Even in silence, inevitably, a reason will present itself from the minds and mouths of others. Without a point, my protest will be lost. So, I’m about to enter day [1] of my random, self-imposed vow of silence. It would seem that you need a set duration and a set reason to take a vow of silence.

Duration: initially, i have the time set for my birthday on March 26th of 2010 at 12:01 AM; whereby i will reevaluate how far i have come, and if i wish to keep silent.

Allowed Alternative methods of Communication:

• speaking when it pertains to my obtaining & keeping gainful employment
• Laughing, Crying, gestures, ASL
• white-board, scratch-pad, note / memo, Journlr
• poem, music (instrumental), art, photographs

Not Permitted:

1. speaking
2. grunting
3. affirmative or negative sounds such as uh-huh, or uh-uh
4. using devices such as txt to speech
5. Twitter & Facebook will be limited to 1 post/day (per account i own now)
6. i will be able to txt message, but will be limiting this as well. (no texting in same location).
7. my WordPress account will remain active, but will be extremely regulated as far as the visibility of posts from this point forward (till march 26th of course)
8. i won’t be bullied by others into bets or making this challenge anything than what i have challenged of myself. This is about the journey, not about the goal.

Reason: Boredom, it would seem, is not sufficient. Other than boredom, I want to do it solely to see if I can–how long I can go, and how easily I can adapt. And, frankly, I think that’s a perfectly good reason to do something. It’s part of the human condition in a very real, simplistic sense. To do what cannot be done, what has not been done. To make man fly, float, and sink, man made planes, boats, and submarines. To turn night into day, cold into warmth, man made fire. To lengthen life, man made medicine. To open up a wider world, man invented the wheel. To be human is to do be more than human. It is to set limits, test limits, and break limits. To do (action x) because you’ve never done (action x) and because you don’t know if you can or can’t do (action x) is a pretty damn good reason to try out (action x). To be fair, I suppose I’d also intend to take this chance to become a better listener. I’ve reduced my socialization somewhat, but I haven’t eliminated it. It’s interesting to sit actively in a conversation, but not actually take part in it. It’s somewhat surreal, and in a positive way. It should continue to be, and has been, interesting. – @1ib3rius

and although much of that may or may not be true … i am going to find words for my reason along my quiet odyssey.

well it wasn’t Synthian Sharp; but i guess he helped. I was talking to K8 a lot on our trip to King’s Canyon. And i’ve been wanting to kind of give my life a makeover. The Santa Barbara thing has been one thing, but i was really running from myself. And so the question i had was where do i find me. I’ve been getting into political documentaries, and i’ve always read books about the politics of things … and now the cross over was starting to take place. After reading books on the war, on “blowback” and on foreign relations, I read a book called Rising Powers, Shrinking Planet. GREAT book! A little wordy, but excellent material. That kind of started the sway. Then there was The Al Gore documentary, the 11th hour with Leonardo Dicaprio, the Corporation. I kept getting documentaries. I would follow up with trips to the library, or checking out the info on the internet.

This became this project of mine. I called it FAMILIARIZING myself with what’s going on in the world … but it was obvious that i was taking notice in something. I sent my father the 11th Hour, and he asked me if i was on to the next revolution … and i smiled. That’s when it hit me. I was onto the next revolution. I wanted to DO something the same way that Josh wanted to do something … the same way that you wanna DO something, the same way that i think everybody really wants to do something, and can’t find a voice for it.

My family has always been big on recycling. And i have had this battle for my license for so long, i kind of just gave up on it. heh. I’ve been green on accident (at least as far as the biking goes). I started Sabotaging my license. I’ve been making serious cash up here in Santa Barbara, and i should have could have – why didn’t i pay off my license and getta car? I didn’t know until recently – it’s because i didn’t want to.

Hell, most of my life i’ve been without a car. I’ve only had a car for maybe two solid years out of my 31 year lifetime. And now it was obvious that the planet is in peril (another documentary by Anderson Cooper). I was reading about the way that America treated other countries in these political books about blow back, and IMPERIALISM, and then i was watching it playing out on the television (well via dvd – thank God for Netflix).

And then there was King’s Canyon. There was something in the water, and i didn’t find out until after i was drinking gallons of it. So i just kept drinking it. And i got into an argument with a vegan about the environment. And that’s when i realized. I’m just a big fat loser with no real conviction. I realized that i talk a lot of shit, and i never do anything about it but whine.

Jennee ELF started telling me a story about how Aedan was allergic to corn, and she couldn’t find anything in a regular supermarket that didn’t have corn syrup in it. We had debates of the Addiction to corn that Americans have, and … on and on and on. It was like an intervention, and i was the only one that felt like it was like an intervention. Which was either slick timing from my friends, or their voices really just started taking root.

Something K8 had recommended OMNIVORE’s DILEMA by Michael Pollan – i had been listening to a Podcast, with this guy’s lectures in it called: the Ethics of Eating. That’s when it hit me. Michael Pollan was the one that sealed it. He made too much sense; & it all started coming together.

So i’m not swearing off meat forever. just for a year. See how it goes. And i’m trying my hardest to stay off of sugar and corn syrup too. I’ve bought Stevia and Agave Nectar.

i’ve been waiting on the iphone for a little while now. i tried to get out of my Verizon contract when my motorolla Q broke, but to no avail.

All my friends are on Verizon, and for that reason, i thought i would bid on a LG Voyager on ebay. after bidding i decided i should just get a cheepy phone until i could get out of my contract in September. i won the bid. And it was a solid deal. So i purchased the Voyager.

But i am itchy for the NEW iphone now. With the ebay purchase, i’ll be able to wait out the remaining months of my contract until September, and then get the 3G iphone, and be done with it.

the Voyager is cool. but it’s not even in the same league as the iphone. Apple stole alien technology or something – they are light years ahead of everyone else

My Voyager flew out of my holster on X2 – one of the twisty roller coasters at Magic Mtn. The Voyager: which I purchased on accident on Ebay when my Motorola q (first gen) broke; [the Voyager – the EnVy like phone – the one that came with an LG bluetooth with lanyard so you don’t loose it, a charger for the phone and the bluetooth, a car charger, a my venturi mini charger/car audio adapter – all of which if someone wants – they should let me know – cus I have no real use for them].

I was waiting till September to get an Iphone. I have to have one. I couldn’t exactly tell you why – except it’s like a LUST for anything APPLE. It will integrate with my MAC, and i’ll say it again: it’s like Steve Jobs found Alien technology, and that is why APPLE is light-years ahead of anyone else. I’ve known i’ve had to have it since the first one came out. In fact, the only reason I bought the Voyager on Ebay, was so that I didn’t have to renew my contract – which is up in September, but I can get a NEW EVRY TWO now; (kinda sneaky Verizon).

Here’s the thing. I get all into these new age phones, and gadgets and what they can do. For some reason it thrills me. For a little bit I have been forgoing the insurance, because I think that it is pointless. It’s NOT. One worry that I now have, as I attempt to pick up and activate a NEW 3G iphone is that there is no insurance on those bad riders either.

And I know, EVERYONE HAS VERIZON! But that will change. The big thing that moved me away from Verizon was the VCAST. I couldn’t get VCAST in Santa Barbara, I tried to move music via the VCAST onto my Voyager, and it was the biggest pain in the ass. I didn’t like it. The OS is clunky, and REALLY REALLY RED. I’m just not into it.

With an ipod, i’ll be able to port songs and video, and VIDEO GAMES!!!! onto my iphone. So yeah. I guess this has become my next big expense. Wish me luck. I’m worried about the credit check. With Verizon I had to give them some sort of deposit before I used their service. I’m hoping At&t will be kinder.