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Export My Content


moving slow in life to go fast

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Piscarius Poetry (read all 17 entries…)
concert tears

you can’t see my tears
curtains change, sound checks
faces half violet
guitars with white hot light
body, arms, attitudes

you can’t see my tears
night is dark, half bright
lightening strikes
music shifts
tension builds
my heart feels
a loss

you can’t see my tears
eyes burn red hot
throat seals up
drunken souls block
speakers boom
together forever

organize the closet (read all 2 entries…)
worth every penny

yes, cleaning out and organizing the life, made today feel amazing,
i wasn’t stressed getting ready for work today, oooooohhhh, i am going to take it even further with creating my space of santuary!!!
Loved it,!!!

organize the closet (read all 2 entries…)
OCD, over came me,

i have no idea where the energy came from to do this,...
well thats not totally true, its just i am surprised by the outcome… a clean closet and my papers, bills, clothes, shoes, ideas,and magazines organized….

my room is very friendly now and a sanctuary…

its been because i have been taking on saying what i want to have happen the next day before i go to bed, (i didn’t say clean my closet though), i just wrote down that 2 people were going to pay me $$$, (who have not),
but i must have had the aggro energy from the power of being “this is going to happen tomorrow” ... i might not even believe its possible to happen…

i am just going be bold and say things that i will create...

look out -that may mean i will create the incredible eco nest ski crash pad possible…-xoxjk

get that wasatch 100 belt buckle (read all 13 entries…)
the badger belt buckle

ran on the LCC trail yesterday, Granite Quarry Trail, 95 minutes, finally felt a bit like a runner again, but the body felt the pounding, biking is great and easy on the body but if you want to run, train to run,...note to self…

Actually timed myself a PR to the top, 40:31, (its usually around 50minutes and 50 min with a bike too)
40:31 with 3×1.5 min walks intervals on the steep parts of the trail, walking is just another low gear, i forget…

wow, i couldn’t tell how i was moving, fast i guess!

Did some yoga move to lenghten and loosen up afterwards, it so helps with me feeling better the next and not stiffening up so much and the hip back pain is not there!

i am so inspired by everyone who is blogging about exercising and taking on their workouts, and keep pushing to feel like a
trail runner, i have like 6 weeks, ahhhhhhhhh…. PRESSURE!
-xoxojkuhl blog 7/31/06

Document the Experience of Primal Quest Utah, 06 (read all 8 entries…)
Free Write #3, PQ, DAY 6

Expedition length Adventure Racing is such a game of juggling the individual teammates degrees of being useful during the race. Juggling being a rock star, with NOT and essentially totally sucking. Here is what i mean, when one is Useful, they are finding solutions to get to a checkpoint, or bringing the right tool along for the team, or helping the team put bikes together, carrying someone’s pack. Well, we all had our rock star moments, and then we all had our moments of purely being a team hinderance, and totally sucking…

For me the day of shear suck, was DAY 6, Pritchett Canyon, Behind the Rocks to Mountain Transition Area…
I didn’t think it would be that day to be a total, tired, mess, but it was. It started out well enough, we had slept up high on the Moab Rim, maybe 800-1000ft above the city of Moab, on the Red Rock Rim. The only place i could find comfort was this notch, with a patch of sand and a cactus, if i slithered up, forward 1.5 feet up, i was looking down 1000 ft down sheer red rock and into the Moab night lights. I at first thought, “there is no, way i can sleep here.” I slithered in my space blanket to other spots close by but after an hour or so came back to it, it had the soft sand and was level. Everyone else was snoring, oh how they SNORE! Especially, Scott, he is a mouth breather, so i try not to listen and i am fast asleep. We slept a few hours here, and woke up at 4 ish, and started getting things ready, packs, contact lenses, taping feet and blister care. And with in 35 min to 45 min, we were back biking on the Poisen Spider jeep trail. And sucking at it.

Mountain biking with 40-50 lb packs, is hard, and going down hill is fun, but its really hard going up with that weight. The technical terrain of a Moab jeep trail, is very difficult as it is and then packs, make it so the carry your weight forward over the handle bars when making a “drop” off of the slick rock. Endo’s are avoided like the plague. So the go was somewhat fast, but then slow and then we ran into team, Too Much Fun Again. They were lost on a spur trail for two hours last night. Another wise choice that we slept and navigated when we were USEFUL, and could see.

We mountained biked the slick rock, Gold Bar Trail, Golden Spike,and Poisen Spider trails with TTMFun, and got to check point 28. For some reason they have us not stopping there and could be why we are listed at 34th place, and not 31st? but not sure…

We rode into town for the Moverick Breakfast Burrito stop/and girl manadatory supply stop and the road felt easy and fast. We got into town and its weird, since Scott had the team GPS unit, the PQ headquarters knew where we were and stopped to photograph us at the Maverick, ooooooo, better get that shot… Extreme athletes eating burritos…

Little did we know we were about to head into the depths of hell, AKA, Pritchett Canyon. Another Moab jeep trail rated 4 plus-5, located south of the Colorado River, via Kane Creek Road. Its a private canyon and they ask for a 1.00 toll to go in to hike, do we pay this? Only one other team, did. We fear AR karma of PQ headquarters and pay 1.00 each to get into the canyon. Damn, now that i think about it we paid, for the hell that was about to be distributed to us.

Geology Lesson about slick rock canyons:
The sandstone rock in the Colorado Plateau, absorbs heat, holds that heat and then gives it off at night when the air temp is cool. But during the day the thermal radiation from the sun is being absorbed by the rock and in canyons the heat is radiating off the walls like an easy bake oven, heating up on itself. It actually creates its own wheather in very large canyons, that produce unique high afternoon winds and higher temperatures. Or said in another way, we were basically on a hike’n bike on a pampered chef pizza stone, it holds the temps, so that it can cook everything slowly and evenly and we were the anchovies.
This is similiar to why they closed down Hells Roaring Canyon early in the race, it was too dry, too hot, and was its own microcosm of an easy bake oven.

We entered Pritchett Canyon, biked a bit, but were soon off our bikes and thiking them through sand piles or stepping them up 1.5 -2 feet ledges, with black streaks on the rock, rubber markings from the jeep tires. You can also follow the trails by looking for bike crank marks, jeep oil droppings and the stenciled logos that mark a lot of the area trails. It was a slow go, we went until about 12:40 pm ish, i think? and the heat started to just be so intense, i couldn’t cool myself, down. I was sweating and drinking, but nothing seemed to help. I felt slower and slower. Someone took my pack, Scott, i think and that seemed to help and then we found a place to take a nap, and decide what to do…

it was getting way to hot…i was scared…no one else seemed to be as slowed down by it as i was, that was disheartening at the time. We slept for 40 or so minutes under a sliver of overhanging red rock, that gave us some shade, and then we heard the helicoptor fly over. The thunderous noise it creates in the canyon is deafening, and yet we couldn’t see it, only hear it and wondered why it would be filming right now. We had seen it many times on course doing a fly by to capture a panoramic picture but usually at the “sweet light” times of the day, never at mid day.

And Chad brought up a good point, that we were running low on water, and the more we stayed there the more water we would need and then we would really be fucked. So we better keep moving, even if its really slow. We then started the slog and i quickly over heated, handed the pack off to Scott or Dave again, and kept moving but then ran out of water, Dave gave me some of his. Chad too, and we spread out the liquids. But still the heat was so intense. i don’t know why i wasn’t worried about having more water, even though, the last check point told us there was not a drop to refuel with until check point? 10-15 miles away?, so take 200 liters each. I just felt so hot and slow, and useless. Dave was rightly worried about not having enough water.

I was still overheating, and so Dave grabbed the yellow jersey and had me take it off, and he put it in the pot hole water that had 100’s of tiny tadpoles living in it. He didn’t do it disruptively though, he knew the frogs were surviving as well. We dunked a few hats, a few jerseys, and could kept moving, the evopartive effect was cooling me down immensely. And it was at that point with the frog water running over my head into my eyes, and down my body, that i had my most “primal moment”. I became present to the fact that i am missing my sister’s wedding today, to put frog water on my head, i don’t care what i look like doing it, and damn it, i want to STAY ALIVE.

i declared i think i just had a primal moment, and we laughed about the frogs needing the water too, i then explained population genetics that greater numbers in an animal population (which the tad poles had) increases the survival rates, so the tad poles can kiss my ass, i need the water. Laughing…but not really…

And we kept on hiking with the bikes, up the canyon, route finding, handing up the bikes to the next bench above us. Finding, looking for more potholes with frogs and water in them to cool ourselves. And we hiked the bikes. Not sure how long it took, but we were getting to the steepest part of the canyon on a bench above our heads where we could see the black rubber marks and crank marks. We could see a large bolt the size of a computer mouse pad, drilled into the rock, for rapping your jeep with a whench to the sandstone to help it climb better. Holy Shit… “who does this extreme jeep sport anyways, jeeps go up this”? So we handed bikes up and got to the highest saddle.

Not sure what we would see at the top and into the next valley. We topped out, and joyous deliverance. They had created a water drop that was not listed on our maps, or known by volunteers, and one jug was hiding under some cardboard just to keep it cool enough. We had water, we were saved. Before that we were down to about 50 maybe 100 liters for the four of us.
We knew this was our TEAM CRUX, we had to get through this section, it was the make or break time. And we did it! It was
scarry, beautiful, humbling, bewildering, emotional, and primal.

We were now on top of the Pritchett Rim and into the area known as Behind the Rocks. And being able to mtn bike somewhat on a
flat graded jeep trail, through the desert with cactus and deep red rocks blurring by was liberating.

Later that night at the mountain TA, we found out that we were one of three teams to have headed into this section, just before headquarters closed this section due to heat. A Heat Zone label, to keep athletes out. So from 2:00 pm-6:00pm teams were not aloud to enter the canyon and had to wait it out in the shade or in a hotel or in a park in Moab. We also found out the helicopter was looking for teams to make sure they were ok, and dropping water at the unmarked saddle location.
It took our team 11.5 hours to complete this section, the heat zapped us, the teams that waited took around 6-8 hours.

In the end I saw that I am heat sensitive, but that’s ok, I was a heat moniter for the team, and when I slowed down to a crawl, we all needed to, and it was for good measure. How did Scott put it? Each one of had a gift that was needed at very precise moments on the course. I had the built in heat guage…and in the end, i guess, Useful…

Piscarius Poetry (read all 17 entries…)
AZ Solitaire Style

Headlights Blinding
Riding into town

Red rock heat and night light
Stomach aches for love

Horses without bits
Yellow lights on desert leaves
Harley Riders

Take a shady spot for night
Sand and gravel
Pseudo Beach

Sleeping metal cages
Write the fright away

Mental vibrations
Trying to hang onto
Galloping Psyche

Surviving in crevasses
Surviving on buttes
Exposed Layers

Water, the only request
Breath only given
I am gone

Document the Experience of Primal Quest Utah, 06 (read all 8 entries…)
Burnt Monkey Fingers on a Stick

Documenting the Adventure Racing Hallucinations
PQ Utah, 06,

my favorite from:

Dave, BMF on a Stk,
Did they appear flavored with a BBQ sauce?

moi? I just saw a random Giraffe, in the veldt lands of Moab




build an Eco Nest (read all 11 entries…)
"Crash Pad" Creation...

the ski cabin is still calling to me, the stonework very primitive and that’s all i would keep perhaps, but take the stones and build from there,

i saw the doors/windows i want for the front for viewing the trees , the doors were at Sundance on the “screening room”, the windows were actually industrial sliding garage type doors, but were windows, that opened out onto a deck, that’s the effect, opening up to the natural surroundings, i wonder how much they weigh?, although i saw smaller versions on the studio across the pond…

remind myself i can take action on this plan…jones’n to create…

Document the Experience of Primal Quest Utah, 06 (read all 8 entries…)
PQ Free Write #2, Are you dead or Are you sleeping...

Primal Quest, PQ, UTAH, 06, I found my favorite photo so far from the whole experience, its in the early mornings on day #10. We were at Castleton Towers, that morning, The red rock formation has a section that looks like a priest and nunns, which the ropes team formulated a zip line to the next red rock tower, almost 400 feet above the skirt of cascading eroding, sandstone. We could hear yahhhooos, across the valley since leaving TA9, the night before. The painful thing was only the lead teams were allowed to go on the incredible ropes course due to lightening and the time constraints. Our team, Team McKinley was on the cusp, we were labeled “Adventure class” after they closed the Hell Roaring Canyon Section, due to a Med Evacuation. The first 25 teams were seasoned teams, racing together before, we were thrown together in 2 months and raced once, but we were as high as 25th and were in the low 30’s about that time. But at TA9, they told us we could not take our harness or ascendors, we would just be traverseing the Castleton Rock area, but take your climbing helmet, which was manadatory for rock fall in the area.

I am so glad we slept at 2 am in the checkpoint below the climb to Castleton. I rolled up stinky in the space blanket, and fell asleep immediately. I woke up once to see Team Too Much Fun, mill around the CheckPoint, but then I think they left. I didn’t see the sleeping bodies in the CP, or the irritating rustle of space blankets, so they climbed on. We wanted to be fresh for the traverse that was touted as incredible, epic, and very dangerous. “Great day 10, I can barely walk a straight line”, drunk off of low glucose levels and sleep deprivation. I overheard at one of the TA’s, people were watching rocks fall 300 feet off the side, slipping, and saying it was scarry. I wanted to see, have some sleep under my belt and get to the finish line safely, so day light and sleep were in order. We could smell the finish line but I knew we were so far at the same time.

We slept for about 1.5 hours, and thought we better keep moving, and we started the climbers approach to the Towers, but it was still dark, we climbed 200 feet lost the trail, had to back track, find our last “known” spot, and start again. Yes, we were on the right trail, hike back again.

One thing I discovered was an unknown talent for reading trails, I knew I could read water, but I can see trails really well. The out line of them, the curves, the places where they drop off and pick up, the worn stones, like an anasazi matate, that only slightly reveals its worn shape. Its a surprise strength I learned I had navigating during this crazy adventure. “TRAIL FINDER”, “come here”, “go out in front and scout out the possible leads to checkpoint 34”, seriously this happened on the 30 hour mountain section. I could see the 100 year old pack trail, could follow it, and get the team past an unknown section. Its a weird thing…

So I picked up the climbers approach trail for a while, but also got tired after time? of leading, and Scott picked up the trail and lead. We got to just below the main tower and it was still dark, so we slept again. I sat monkey tree style, squatted on a rock with my back leaning into some more rocks and just off the trail. The guys found a spot on the trail. More lifeless bodies just in the way, but it was day 10, everyone was pretty used to random bodies laying around.

I later found out, Nike ACG North West, ran this section to make the rope cut off time. Dumping each others water and running up a section that felt like we were on a Himilayan hike crawl. They were the last team to finish on day 10, at 1:22 pm.

It was 4-5 am and we didn’t have enough light for the traverse, but as we sat there watching teams descend the Tower. It was a “primal moment” in a different visual sense. We could see 4 pairs of teamates, repelling, their headlamps reflecting light off the 400 foot wall face. It looked like floors on a giganitic sandstone building were open for business. Each floor spaced perfectly, 50 feet apart, only moving slightly if you checked. The image is ingrained because it was a moment of design beauty created only at night, only with this race, and only seen by my team from that spot. We watched in awe for 5-10 minutes, taking it all in and also saying “that could be us”, but also saying “we are here and loving that”. That perch
and unique visual left us pretty somber and in another 2010 world, and we had been in that world for 10 days but it was getting weirder, with a red rock country that resembled the moon, and we were the tired astraunauts, exploring the valleys of dirt.

But the light came up just faintly over the ridge to the east, and we could start to see the traverse along the mile long ridge. One team just off the repel stumbled by us, an “Expedition Team” and I was not sure how they were going to stay on that traverse, they were stumbling and shaking and not together in space and biochemistry.

We left a few minutes after them and could see the epic traverse out in front of us again. We were like yeah, whatever “epic my ass” but after traverseing what felt like hours and with 3 rope assisted down climbs and 300 feet of fall to your death traversing to your left, it was epic. At one of the sadles Dave talked Team Too Much Fun up the side of sandstone slope. They had gone off trail during the night, cliffed out, spent the night on the edge of cliff not being able to see and when they were back on track, Sara, came up finally releaved they were safe and started crying. The guys hugged her and understood the release.

(Most Guys I have raced with in Adventure Racing learn about racing with the female factor, and so they get it. If they don’t, they won’t be successful. But I think they learn from this sport to not make the female perspective wrong, dance with the free flowing emotions, and then keep racing from a different motivation that has just been expressed).

Sara with emotions flowing then came by my side. “I know, I said, “I was there yesterday before Onion Creek”. I learned I need to talk and share. I didn’t know I had this need before. She shared 5 sentences, said that that had helped and they were on their way.

And we were too, towards the finish line and through Ida Gulch.
But the photo that Dave took of Chad, Scott, and Myself up on Castleton Towers, with the red rock moon scape in the background, has me playing mental i-tunes, in my head, you know, Modest Mouse, the lyrics, “Are you dead or Are you Sleeping?” Louder. “Are you Dead or Are you Sleeping?”
Louder. “Are you Dead or Are you Sleeping?”

No, if I am Adventure Racing, I am very much ALIVE, and I am Sleeping…xo—JK

get a blue orchid tattoo (read all 2 entries…)
art with scar tissue

the 2002 august mtn bike ride in Park City left me with a pretty good collar bone break similiar to what a climber would call a “chicken head”, a hand hold that is skinny and then rounded and sticks up about an 1.5 out from the rock, that was my collar bone. And it didn’t heal, 4 months later, the x-rays showed the bone molecules were not communicating and healing towards each other. Humans are so biochemically driven. So due to that molecular sequence of events, the bone decided to grow downward, confused about where to connect to. (i didn’t know this at the time though) all i know it was getting more and more uncomfortable to sleep. So after a bit (there is a long story in there) but i wasn’t sleeping comfortably and i “knew” it wasn’t right, so i had the Doc, that fixed my ACL, put 6 pins and a titanium plate over the bone, to stabalize it and have it heal for a year. The amazing miracle was that the bone growing down could be used, crushed up packed and helped the bone to bone communication take effect. They didn’t need to go to my hip and get bone which is very painful. So i have a smaller chicken head collarbone, but a scar from inserting and removing the hardware. i never thought i would get tatoos but a friend has several that i find very sexy, i thought maybe i could get one, but where? yes the 4 inch scar, and uneven bone area needs a little sprucing, the gardener in me declares…”Make it an unusual Orchid”—jk

Piscarius Poetry (read all 17 entries…)
4 my muse

Havoc Master with Hijacked Heart
J43, Twin Otter, Mi-14 Helitanker
Means doesn’t matter, the cargo marked “Fragile”

Jumpsuit, check
Landing spotted, check

Nez Perce or Silver City?
Where did you stash my Left Ventricle?
Strongest of 4 chambers
I am weak without it

Libras and Capricorns
Fire and Water
Don’t Mix?
Misery and Gin
Mix me one of those, Merle

Medicate with solutions
or Medicate eating fire
Pick Your Poison

Return the Heart
On the River of No Return
Ransom is negotiable
Leave the clothes, bring the missing muscles

Salmon, Idaho, Friday July 21st
Launch, Corn Creek, Saturday 22nd
18.5 river miles a day, hot tub included
Take out Vinegar Creek, 6-7 mind-altering days later
An automatic defibulator

PDF, check
River Map, check

0C-1 Dagger Ovation, Aire Super Puma, Maravia Oar Rig
4000cfs, Class III, navigators,
Do you need a captain?

Fire and Water, Can it BE?
Merle, mix me one of these

Piscarius Poetry (read all 17 entries…)









become a yoga instructor (read all 4 entries…)
remind myself i can do this...

I have practiced Yoga off and on since I tore my ACL,in 2003, skiing and it helped my balance and over all health so much. I have not been practicing lately, and miss it. Athletes who are tight like runners, cyclists and skiers and benefit so much with lengthening the tight muscles and rebalancing the body…
I want to learn to teach yoga, so i could teach it at a spa
on the mtn to skiers…

Document the Experience of Primal Quest Utah, 06 (read all 8 entries…)
free write #1, email to Kim...

Extreme adv. Race, ahhhhh, not sure what to say, it was Primal,
Its kinda of a blur…and its hard to describe what went down in the desert,... But let’s see…

I felt stripped of who I was, stripped of what was important, things that are not needed Just get thrown to the side,
like I stopped wearing bras, even sport type bras by day 4, undies too, just shorts, a shirt, shoes, hat, a pack, a space blanket for night time…

I have never smelled so foul…

I didn’t have a brush for my hair for 10 days, I started my period 6 days early due to the body out a whack, ( which never happens) tampons, just bike shorts…
I had to go from frog pond water to frog pond water one day when the temps in Prichette canyon went to 108 degrees, and we were crawling out at the top of the scramble, and we were running out of water, we called it a “primal moment” that defines who you are and how you can survive… No pride, no Concerns on “looking good” just making it…living…

Moments that were beautiful were beyond amazing, and the moments of terror and effort were monumental and epic…i remember “pulling” the guys on the bike into the wind into Moab and singing in my head…i-tunes that I thot I would miss, they were there in my brain, this song I sent was there in my brain for days, luckily its soft and beautiful…and feeling that life couldn’t get any better than what we were doing…

At times we felt everyone’s energy pulling us up hill, Dave and I felt “little pushes” on this section, climbing into the mtn transition, it was probably 1 am at night with 3 other teams, racing into the aid station, I felt fast and effort less and then feel a push from somewhere, we both felt it, and said its everyone’s energy that is with us…

Its good for me to talk about it, I have not really written that much…

do the landmark forum (read all 2 entries…)
life surfing enhanced

just do it, the whole curriculum, your amazing life, will be enhanced, i feel like my life is incredible because of this transformational work, and i can life surf with the best of them now…

get a dog
Dog Angels

Getting a dog is an amazing adventure, they teach us so much
on how to live, and work less. They teach us people how to play
and bring back being a kid everyday.

I am going to take a trip with my dog this next coming week, we are going to mtn bike, boat, and run in Idaho. The single track, buff mtn bike life, is what my dog loves and waits for all day long until I get back from work…

Hilo monster, a chocolate lab, is my 2nd dog, and she is so different than my first yellow labrador retriever. Each dog has a different personality and soul, to bring something to our lives…

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