jlm420

I can’t even remember the last time I had a good birthday. Last year I was in the emergency room and got my appendix taken out. The year before that my little brother was getting married a week later and having the huge reception at the house. Before that I don’t remember specifics. I’ve tried to just forget, and apparently been a little successful. I deserve to have a good birthday. I don’t expect it to be great or wonderful, or even noteworthy. Just not bad would be a change I would enjoy. I’m not thinking positive or negative about it. I’m just going to wait and see. Anythings possible.

I had a good time tonight. Had/hosted my first “dinner party”, as my mom kept insisting it was to be called. Everybody had a great time. The food turned out perfect. I looked fine as did my dwelling. Many laughs could be heard. One more step on my road to being adult-like. I am proud of myself for how nicely the evening turned out. Occasionally I can have a good time without having to make a constant mental/emotional effort. I fucking love it when that happens!

I am very lucky to have many people in my life that love me as much as I love them. When I listed this goal I was thinking more specifically along the boyfriend or even husband line. I’m done searching for him. If it’s meant to be we will stumble upon each other somehow. I don’t want to spend my life searching. I have better things to do and am very blessed with my loved ones.