Seems curious – when I had a partner who was somewhat critical of my appearance, I didn’t really care much about it. Now that I’m with someone who accepts me as I am, I want to take care of myself better. It helps that we’re eating a lot better these days – more vegetables, less grains and red meat.
Jim Nicholson's Life List
How I did it: I did it by pouring myself into other people, rather than dwelling on my problems. I actually had to become a bit of a nazi about this with myself, to the extent that I had to deliberately avoid even some things that would be considered "responsible" and "necessary" with respect to my own life, because dealing with those things would make me so depressed and frustrated that I became paralyzed.I also had to drastically lower my expectation… Read how I did it…
I’m now two and a half years into being a “single dad,” and things are starting to turn around. My two oldest girls (16 and 14) are living with me full time, and the younger kids are over about half the time. Living space is a bit tight, and we get on each others’ nerves from time to time, but we’re surviving. I had a couple of positive developments recently; apparently things have calmed down enough at my ex’s house that the older girls have been willing to spend some time with their mother. I’ve always felt it was important for them to have access to both parents, and I can see where it’s helping them to cope.
I don’t think you can ever be “done” with respect to this sort of thing, unless you consider it “done” when your kids are old enough that they can move out on their own. I’ll always have a place in my home for my children; that’s my promise to them. But I do look forward now to the day when I can watch them move off into the world on their own, and have some confidence that they will make good choices.
I’m playing a lot more these days. It’s good medicine for the soul, and it helps me connect with people.