johntkucz

discovered Musicophilia. I realized I MUST move forward with with MUSIc, nad electircity and physics and math and TESLA, and learning japanese and more romance langauges, that is all the future learn everything I can about tesla, and master and play mozart, beethoven, many of those, get a fucking violin or piano and start learning those and Brahms, I lvoe brahms and learn to play some haydn, too. move forward with thtat, stop being lost., I must do that. THE PAST that is OVER and gone is Santa barbara, hollywood films, biking, probably surfing (although I wouldn’t object ot revisiting surfing), california

I was shocked that that SMAE day was talking to mom enraged angerred about London, the wine tasting, then the hyoga class and then visiting them and feeling “emotionally raped” that was ALL after the stripper day and the house of blues thing. YIKES what a horrendously painful and anguished experience! Those experiences are over. I lalso look back on my cc experiences with like how I was just this random person pushed and pulled around and WASTING TIME by sex drives and exercise.

the for dummies book is GREAT plow through that. create more of a sense of urgency with this. eliminate the past meanderings. make japanese, classical music, physics, calculus, a bit of cognitive scientist and basic health and exercie the future. eliminate past things that have weighted me down:
non-british fiction
“new best seller books”
book recommendations
hollywood films (fortunately eliminated this)
not having a musical instrument to play
sex/porn/ sex addiction - an ENORMOUS distraction and was past huge obstacle to moving forward with these important things.
In a way, obsession with exercise.
Whining and compliainig nabout mommy daddy isuses
biotoxicfamparents and people
journaling I gueess.
not having crisp goals
exercise obsession was a way of just being upset and not really getting anywhere. being healthy was and is great, but it wasn’t rewarding at all it was just rudimentary maintenance, but I would do maneintenace the entire day…like 5 miles then class, then swim a mile, then run a mile and my entire day would be exercising basically. I was energized a prodigy with tons of energy and that is great, but I want to shape that into something that’s an achievement for me

ACHIEVEMENT
profession (earning, keeping wolf at the door)
Basic health and nutrition
FRIEND Network
Romantic Interest

those 5 things are most prominent in life. maybe friend netowrk and romanc could be 1 yes.

random driving and travel has been a huge distraciton. classes with assisine teachers.

I lvoe current teachers—pinker, dawkins, dennet, hitchesn, oliver sacks, tolkien. Why? Because they’re great minds, they’re highly intelligent and I hav worthy things to learn from them. also from the great composers, beethoven, haydn, tchaikovsky, brahms (FANTASTIC, german composer) I love being more versed in these great composers. I need to forge forward with that and create a sense of urgency with the music learning yes. definitely.

have a sense of direction and self-motivated and self-DIRECTED sincerity make it music, foregin languages yes, and physica and math and tolkien. eliminate other things that create clutter. move forward with that

maybe
some video games

It’s agility. ALL my favorite video games. prince of persia all the games are like free running and parkour. The French terminolgy is brilliant. this is an intelligent discipline. It requires TREMENDOUS finesse. It’s fun, it requires massive planning and problem solving. This would be GREAT something to train for. Training “for women” is REALLY gay, retarded, and falalcious (because you’ll end up a pissed angry stupid person). Training for parkour would be excellent and great. I REALLY like this because of the mental and physical discipline (present in things like jeet kun do) BUT also it’s non combative and all about physical and mental personal development. It’s non-competitive which is briliatn and I love the french language directly infused iwth parkour. I REALLY like that. awesome. Awesome on so many levels—physically, linguistically, intellectually. brilliant aND it’s (of course) big in uk and europe. this is awesome. This is an inspiration to train. I’ve had a lot of training for it with all my swimming, my marathons, my biking, my martial arts, my surfing…yeah.

This aligned with and congruent with the following pre-existing interests:
French language
Rogue
Agility class
gymnastics
lightness
mental and physical discipline
GENUINE (not bullshit tony robbings) personal development
overcoming obstacles
problem-solving
Spatial Awareness
dance.
looking at urban terrain not as place to be cuibcle rat, but as a playground.
health
closest thing to video game as rl

Thus it is VERY moving forward.

All I read, listen to, and watch is uk, british or european-based stuff. I loathe america. Europe is all I care about. I have zero tolerance for wasting my life out of europe. EVERYTHING is in europe. All the most advanced electronic games, all the composers great ones were from europe, everything I’m interested in for entertainment is european. Europeans are more polite, more sophisticated and more intelligent than most all other places (esp. america). I’d be more peaceful, feel stronger, more intelligent, and more focused in europe. Because of all those congruencies and symmetries, professionaly I’d have and experience MUCH MUCH MUCH more success. it makes sense, you get into a place that you like and respect amongst PEOPLE whom you like and respect (europeans) and things will be inevitably more ausipicous. True.

Britain and europe hosts the most cutting-edge, most advanced ideas, people, trends,—all the UPGRADES in life are their for me. I’m wasting my life and my time NOT being in europe. True.