I'm doing 33 things
This town is stripping the color off of me in layers. All of the vigor that I held as a shield to face my days with is waning. Having to interact with large crowds of the vapid and obtuse is wearing me down. My beautiful friends form an effective barrier much of the time but I still feel the need to express how cross I am with this town, how exasperated with some people. Its seems like “fitting in” or “being comfortable” in this town requires a squelching of all individuality, as well as a fierce rejection of anything that might inspire any introspection. Now, I am not deluded, I know that the whole of the problem cannot lay with other people, and while I can leave this town I cannot escape from myself; but still I must believe that leaving this town will make things better. Going somewhere where NOT doing any of the following things is perfectly acceptable: going to the proverbial “Mugshots” every Friday night, being in a sorority and wearing one of your sorority t-shirts almost every day, hanging out with people who are exactly like you (same color, musical tastes, interests, food, etc), owning four different pink northface jackets, and so many other things that it would take me forever to list. Truthfully, sometimes I envy these people; wish that I could see the word through their eyes for just an hour or so. Life has to be easier when you live on the surface like that, no self reflection, no deep issues, uncomplicated connections to other people. While it may be simple though, it isn’t real, and I always quickly come to my senses and remember that I love who I am, and I love the way that I love who and what I love (try to follow that). The people that I love know it, and who I am can’t be squeezed into a little blog. The countdown is on folks, in a year I’m getting out of here. All of the important people and things have found a permanent place in my heart and I will carry them away from here with me; all of the hurt, the rejection, the bigotry, and the unpleasant notions stay here and I will never be back to visit them. A year is still a little while yet, but I am on my way out, wish me well…
jomammy's Life List
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1. learn french
10,129 people -
2. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
18,115 people -
3. see the northern lights
16,406 people -
4. visit scotland or ireland
1 cheer2 people -
5. stand up for myself
3 cheers868 people -
6. spend less time studying but get higher marks
5 people -
7. get tattooed
1 cheer128 people -
8. go on a wine tour
2 cheers36 people -
9. watch the world cup live
517 people -
10. learn italian
1 cheer5,534 people -
11. stop being passive-aggressive
1 cheer19 people -
12. study for one hour each day
1 cheer15 people -
13. adopt a cat
1 cheer181 people -
14. improve my memory
2 cheers1,230 people -
15. go fishing
2 cheers482 people -
16. see more of Europe
2 cheers9 people -
17. practice yoga
4 cheers3,974 people -
18. learn to love myself more
4 cheers45 people -
19. become a better cook
1 cheer451 people -
20. learn to accept kindness/love without suspicion or feelings of inadequacy
4 cheers1 person -
21. worry less
2 cheers4,470 people -
22. be a better student
3 cheers193 people -
23. be closer to God
3 cheers179 people -
24. be less afraid
1 cheer107 people -
25. stop wasting time
2 cheers3,487 people -
26. move out of starkville
1 entry . 1 cheer2 people -
27. get out of debt
2 cheers10,548 people -
28. get a masters degree
4 cheers2,793 people -
29. wage peace
2 cheers26 people -
30. become less enraged at instances of stupidity
1 cheer517 people -
31. go to hawaii
3 cheers1,612 people -
32. learn to make sushi
4 cheers716 people -
33. Make money doing something I love.
3 cheers195 people
Recent entries
Her vigor floats away like clouds...
2 years ago
