justliveit

Two weeks ago, I weighed 145 pounds! Wow. For someone used to being about 118 all her life, this was a big difference.

I can give you all my excuses:
1) I gave birth to two babies within 12 months (one in July ‘10 and one in June ‘11)
2) PPD
3) No time for the gym. Well, no time at all.
4) Dealing with loss of my bother.

These are excuses. They are all facts, but they are excuses nevertheless.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and put on a very strict diet under the supervision of a Perinatolgist. So I gained very little weight with that pregnancy. (I weighed less when I was 9 months pregnant, that I did two weeks ago!)

The diet was very strict though. It left me feeling totally deprived.

So once I had my baby (Thankfully healthy and with no complications from my GD :) I ate with a vengeance.

All the things I couldn’t have (chocolate, Guinness, fried food, white bread with butter) Oh, yeah. I was feasting. And then some.

When I found out about my brother’s (unexpected) death, my world collapsed. He was so young! The pain was devastating, but I had to keep going for the children. They sense everything.
So I ate. And I ate and ate until I’d feel a sense of…numb. (Much better than the indescribable pain that was my reality)

Since, I have learned to deal with grief through art. I’ve been painting and creating. And I feel much better. Not well. But “afloat” and that’s a beginning.

Reality hit when I found myself sitting on the closet floor crying because I had nothing to wear. To Walmart. You know things are bad, when you have nothing that will make you presentable enough for Walmart!!!!!

So I was faced with either having to buy clothes in a (much) bigger size or get serious about my weight loss.

I’ve decided to get serious about my weight loss.—For my children, my health, my self-esteem.

I decided to post my story here not to for sympathy or to brag. But to hold myself accountable.

Here I go.

Start: 143 pounds
End of Week 1: 138.4

I will check in weekly.

Thanks for reading.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with … and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting ..
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Living is something you do now, or never.

• For Diet Coke (I love the stuff)

• For having come up with idea’s for husband’s birthday

• For eating healthy thus far today. Which brings me to:

• For realizing that I’ve been slipping on my “clean eating/work out” goal and now I’m ready to tackle it instead of letting it slide.

• For the fact that my quads are finally “quiet” enough so that I can walk without limping much.