kandyflip

Mmm, everyone who has the fear of dancing in a circle could do with a bit of guidance before and being told everything’s going to be OK! At the moment, I am trying to re-associate dancing in the circle less with an unpleasant childhood experience, and more with playing with blocks as a child, which is the first ever ‘freestyling’ all of us ever did: we create things spontaneously, sometimes it works, sometimes it falls down – whatever breaks we can fix, but we feel ok about it, and just generally enjoy the whole experience without worry. Hopefully, remembering how that feels will help.

I managed to get on to the stage area at the dance event and solo’d three times yesterday, and feel really buzzing. I had prepared for it in the afternoon, and although I forgot some of the things I wanted to do, it was an all-round better dance performance than the previous day. So I am on my way, and as another dancer who also has nerves about it said, it gets easier the more you do it.

She also says she trains three hours a day, which is probably what I need to do from today onwards. Still, it took using 43things.com to make me consider what the thought of dancing and being the centre of attention was having on my brain, and how to reprogram my thoughts. Thanks, 43 things!

I think it’s the fear of taking risks and being at the centre of attention that is stopping me from being able to dance freely. Something happened in childhood where I took a chance and things didn’t work out. I think it may have been at school when I put my hand up and then felt embarrassed because I didn’t have anything to say. So I decided: don’t stick your head out, don’t take a risk, better to be an observer as you as safe rather than be a participant. Now I’m replaying that childhood strategy in grown up life, even though the results are self-defeating.