karmyk

So I’m here in the middle of the ELMSN-FNP program contemplating about switching to CM (Case Management), working awhile, and THEN doing a GNP program somewhere else later on. I decided I’d love to be a GNP, but there’s a lot I need to learn and a lot more growing up (professionally) that I need to do.

Overall, I’m satisfied with my decision to come here for school. =)

My background? Classical Piano (with a tendency to stray towards Rachmaninov and Chopin). A little classical Guitar. A little organ. A little bass…

I can handle playing 4 different voices with my fingers (the very first Bach fugue I played had 4 voices… talk about a NIGHTMARE)... but isolating 4 limbs? (and a 5th being my voice) Hrmm… how different can it be?

VERY different. And difficult. And overwhelming… and humbling… but fun!

I’ve always been drawn to the drums… it was like the heartbeat of music. The pulse. Sometimes an instrument of power and passion. Sometimes soul and spirit… so…

I gave in last summer and bought a beginner’s drum set. 3 tom’s, a kick drum, a snare, one hi-hat, and two cymbals.

And THEN I enrolled in drum lessons last fall.

This semester, I had to stop the lessons… partially due to time issues… and partially due to the fact that I can’t afford paying $80 per month on a student’s budget… so now, I have been reduced to tinkering and experimentation.

We’ll see… I think I’m getting better. I’ve been toying around with syncopation and other rock grooves… trying out new fills… and practicing my rudiments here and there… but with (hopefully) grad school coming around the corner.. I’m not sure how often I can practice regularly.. especially since I’ll probably be moving into the dorms. =(

Well, not literally… but right at this very moment, that describes (in a limited way) how I’ve been feeling for the past few days.

You see, yesterday I finished an interview with THE nursing program I want to get into… and while more than 250 people apply for it, only 22 seats are available… so if you look at it statistically, only 8.8% of the applicants are accepted (if only 250 people applied). While I was more confident battling similar overwhelming odds applying for the Air Force Academy back in high school, I feel like I’m at a slight disadvantage now, when compared to other people applying for the program…

The one thing I’m most afraid of is the fact that one of the few traditions the Academy has managed to hold on to (and believe me… that institution manages to hold on to very FEW traditions… we endearingly refer to this issue as a tradition of having no traditions) is commissioning graduating classes with average cumulative GPA’s somewhere around 2.7… and when you compare it with the average cumulative GPA at other colleges and universities (somewhere within the 3.2 – 3.4 range), you can’t help but feel really bummed out at the way you look on paper. I’m sure my GPA doesn’t measure up to the higher ones that other applicants most likely have.

The second thing I’m extremely afraid of is the fact that during my military time (especially when the operations tempo started increasing during Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom), I was forced to drop prereq classes due to military-related issues. Thus, my academic records show a couple of W’s (in classes where I was passing… and that I got A’s in when I retook them) here and there.

The third thing I’m afraid of is my lack of recent medical volunteer service hours. While I was in the military, I was working more than 12 hours a day, often 6 or 7 days a week… in addition to taking more than a full load of classes each semester. As an officer, your work ends up filtering into your personal life, so most of my “volunteer” work was doing military-related things (fund raising for our company grade officers club, putting together care packages for deployed troops, etc.). I wish I could have done some volunteer work at a hospital… but I already had a commitment at the time to fulfilling my role as an officer, and I made a promise to not let my schoolwork or my future endeavours get in the way of my ability to do my job.

To make up for the lack of volunteer time, I became a Certified Nursing Assistant in order to gain some clinical experience and become familiar with a hospital setting (I was a communications electrical engineer for the military, and my last job was running a network control workcenter and helpdesk.. and designing and accrediting classified networks for my unit). The entire experience was EXTREMELY rewarding… and working with the patients and residents confirmed and strengthened my interest in becoming an RN and then nurse practitioner.

So now I sit here, not even a year out of the service, waiting as patiently as I can for my top two choices for nursing programs to decide whether or not they want me… and the wait is very, very, very difficult. I think the hard thing about it is the fact that this decision about my future is now in the hands of other people… and the whole notion is somewhat frightening for me… for various reasons.

We’ll see. I’m crossing my fingers. I’ve worked so hard to get this far… and I’m willing to give my 110% if I get into either program.

crosses fingers

hopes