kate48

Every time I got near my limits and the card companies called to say, “would you like some more?” I bought it…and then I bought some more.

Now I’m on the 81 year plan. $81,000 in debt, including my student loans. The trusty online calculator said that making my minimums alone, I’ll take 81 years to pay it off and wind up making something like a million dollars in interest payments.

Step one has been to put those figures in print. Next is to work on my cash flow situation – minimum payments alone don’t leave enough for groceries, so until my income rises, I need space. I will call my creditors tomorrow to negotiate lower minimums.

I had a reality check in December – my A1C is 10.4. This week I saw a new doctor and got clear instructions on what kind of records to keep until I get hooked up to a continuous glucose monitoring system. I can eat the way I’ve been eating (think ice cream, candy, you name it)...I just have to track every bit of it. My blood sugar has been consistently between 70 and 120 since Monday’s appointment, and I feel terrible! I’ve had that shaky low feeling for hours at a time and I don’t like it. My body is used to running on blood sugar levels of 200-350. I use an insulin pump, so I think I can figure out how to adjust when my numbers are trending down, but I don’t want to eat more because I’m already eating too much!

I’m realizing how much I want an instant payoff – if my sugars are good, I should feel good, right? Well, I’m in training. Kind of like I am in the rest of my life – finances, work, etc. If getting in shape is so good for me, why can’t it feel good?!