smile.share.enjoy life

I’ve believed for a long time that fear is one of the major things that holds us back in life. I’ve also thought for a long time that I was pretty good at not letting it get to me but today I had a wake up call. I don’t fear the big things in life. Despite having cancer I’m pretty good at getting on with my life. I’ve reasised though that it’s only really half a life and was so before my diagnosis. This idea ties in with a few other of my goals and I realise that it’s just fear that stops me from doing alot of everyday things.
I was invited to watch a friend play footy today and instantly dismissed it as something I wouldn’t enjoy. Without thinking about why I wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s really just a fear of being there by myself, not knowing anyone and getting depressed at the thought of not having many friends and being afraid to meet new people there. When I think about it heading to a footy match is something I really would enjoy. If fear didn’t get in the way.
Still not sure if I’ll go or not. These are in fact rather large fears. Think I’ll need to plan a ‘how to cope’ before I really get into this.

So amazing. We were really lucky as it was a perfect day and visibility was just incredible. We also got up to over 15,500 feet before we jumped which is higher than any site in Australia can normally offer. Was over far too quickly in the end though. Would do it again if I had the chance.

So I realised something the other day in somewhat of a huge light bulb moment. More of a lighting store moment infact, if they turned on all their displays at once and passers by were blinded by the brightness and clarity coming from within. I realised one of the reasons I find it really difficult to talk is that most of the time I’m just not interested. I don’t care in the least what they have to say. This is because I still gravitate towards the same sort of people I have always hung around with. The point is alot of time has passed and I have changed alot. That part I knew but silly me didn’t make the connection with the people I relate to. I no longer have much in common with old friends (except a small few) so why would I have much in common with new people like my old friends. I need to be a bit more outgoing and get to know some new ‘types’. I have a funny feeling it will actually be easier.
On another note, a near stranger said I was somewhat outgoing the other day. Wow!