Call Me Kate

So I did eventually submit all the necessary paperwork for my financial aid applications. Now I’m just waiting to hear from them.
I’ve already heard from two that I got into and one that I got wait listed for, which was the school I was counting on. The wait listed one came on Wednesday. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as miserable as I did then. Don’t worry, I realize there are much worse things in the world than not getting accepted to the college you want to go to, but that letter made me feel so…inadequate. I hate that I let them make me feel that way.
Back to compulsively checking the mail.

So I went bowling today with a friend and of bunch of her friends for her birthday. I knew everyone there, but I’m not really friends with any of them except for the birthday girl. It should have been fun, but it wasn’t. I felt out of place and ignored the entire night. It’s partially my fault and I realize that, but still, I went to be out of my “comfort zone” and I had a miserable time. I guess that’ll teach me to not try to be social again.

I’ll admit it, I’m kind of blah. My friends and I do things together that should be fun, but I rarely ever enjoy anything. There are times when I’m not unhappy, but I’m not really happy either. I guess this should go under my be happy goal, oh well. I’m afraid that I’m not going to change for college. I’ll still be a boring, no fun, loser. Wow, I’m not really as despressed and psychotic as I sound, I promise.