kbts87

My fear still exists, but I’m not letting it control my better judgment. I was the one who made the call to go to the hospital this time around. There was no arguing, or refusing to go. I saw that I needed to go, and called up a friend to take me there. I was still freaked out to be there, though I still don’t fully understand why it bothers me so much. I hate waiting, not knowing. You do a lot of waiting in a hospital. The first place you wait in is actually called the ‘waiting room’... a room to wait, imagine that. Luckily the wait was shorter this time, and Dan held my hand. He sort of rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand, which distracted me from freaking myself out.
Then there’s the wait in the hospital room. I was there by myself as Dan was still in the waiting room. I tried to keep my mind on happier things, but it was hard. The pain was sort of bothering me, and I had the chills pretty bad (thin hospital gowns and even thinner sheets). But I survived. I was only waiting for the test results from a urine sample, nothing like a CAT scan this time. The entire visit only took about two hours. So really not too bad.

As I said, my fear still exists, and I think it always will. But because I’m not letting that fear alter my judgment anymore, I’m calling this one done =)

After writing that last entry, I was thinking about this goal for a bit. For Fathers day, his birthday and Christmas, I never know what to get him. I think I might open up a separate account just for the purpose of saving for that, and put money into it on all of those occasions. The more hardcore saving still wouldn’t happen until after graduation… but even if I put, say, $25 in it for each of the three occasions, that’s still $75 closer to the goal. The site I was looking at charges $169 for the first jump. So after about two years I’d pretty much have enough for one person saved up, which isn’t too shabby. I still don’t know if he’d appreciate what I’m doing, or if he’d get pissed that the money’s not going toward school. I know he’d like to go skydiving, because he told me so, but still….

My plan is to try and save a bit in the time leading up to winter break. I have a little bit extra that I can spare from working a lot this summer. I’m also thinking I’ll ask my parents if I can forgo Christmas presents, and have the money go toward plane tickets instead. I know it won’t cover the entire cost, but it’ll help a lot.

Winter break. I’m seeing my sis. Oh yeah, maybe I can meet my future brother-in-law as well….ya know, instead of a day before the wedding =P

Writing it down like this… it helps a lot. I feel like I’m going to make it happen. =)