kdayy

its so silly sometimes, i’m young and i feel so unsatisfied with myself and i somehow manage to ignore the fact that i have a whole life ahead of me to accomplish everything i want to accomplish and that nothing will happen right away and that if something bad happens that i WILL rise up from it. i need to appreciate what i have more, my family, friends, boyfriend, myself. i need to not let things bother me. i need to love MYSELF (next goal?) i need a vacation! time for myself. time to figure myself out. get in touch with everything around me. yeah, let this be my reminder.

i feel as if nothing satisfies me. im so stressed about he future and achieving goals that ive made up in my head that i cant enjoy myself or anything ive accomplished. this attitude makes me sad and im really hoping, with the new year, that i can relax and not worry about money or relationships, or friends, or how i look. i need to feel more comfortable and confident with myself and not be such a huge ball of stress. 2009, you better be good to me!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. i don’t really know what happened but its like all of a sudden i am jealous, insecure and i nag him. recently he’s given me a reality check that he’s hurt and nearly fed up with my antics. i can’t believe how blind i’ve been towards how the things i’ve been doing had made him feel. my mentality that “if something is bothering me then im not going to keep it to myself” has really kicked my butt this time. my stubborn personality and insecurities about the future have prevented me from enjoying the NOW. and now that he’s expressed this “now or never” attitude towards me, i really need to become the girlfriend that he needs me to be and that he deserves. i’m going to do my best to provide all that i can provide and to give all that he needs from me to give. i love him and i don’t want to lose him over my stubborn personality. its now or never and ive never felt more desperate. wish me luck!