killerbunny32

I LOVE MY BABY CAT. HE’S BEEN WITH ME FOR 9 YEARS OR SO (HE’S ALMOST 13!) WE’VE BEEN THRU ALOT TOGETHER. HE’S MY BEST FRIEND. MY JOB KEEPS ME AWAY ALOT SO WE DON’T GET TO BOND LIKE WE USED TO. I’M MAKING IT A POINT NOW TO LOVE HIM MORE, PLAY MORE, BRUSH HIM MORE. I DON’T WANT TO TAKE HIM FOR GRANTED THEN ONE DAY HE’S GONE.

IT FEELS GOOD TO BE COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN. YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS WORKING OUT IT FELT GOOD NOT TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR MY BODY. I KNOW I DON’T LOOK BAD, BUT I’VE LOOKED BETTER AND IN THE PAST I WOULD HAVE MADE EXCUSES FOR HOW I LOOK NOW. IT’S CRAZY. NO ONE THINKS I LOOK BAD EXCEPT ME. I DIDN’T ASK FOR THE VALIDATION YESTERDAY. I JUST BELIEVED IN MYSELF AND ACCEPTED THAT THIS IS WHERE I AM. I DO LOOK GOOD, I JUST HAVE VERY HIGH STANDARDS FOR MYSELF. THANK GOD I WAS ABLE TO LET IT GO FOR ONCE!

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT HAVING TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. IT SEEMS THAT I’M USED TO GETTING VALIDATION OF MY HAPPINESS FROM A RELATIONSHIP. I WANT TO GET THAT FROM WITHIN. I DON’T WANT TO USE PEOPLE TO DETERMINE MY HAPPINESS OR WHO I AM. I’M ON THE WAY NOW. IT IS CHALLENGING! I FEEL LIKE ALICE IN WONDERLAND.