Kim

Ok, I don’t know what I was thinking when I started this one. But Tomàs will never ever understand how to speak dutch. At least not by my hand. So he’s going to get some lessons and I am sorry to inform you that I have officially given up…

I took the first step! Yesterday me and a good girlfriend of mine rented a great location for our 18th birthday party! It’s so perfect! It’s has a bar, dancepoal, tables, fire place and of course a dancefloor. There is going to be a barkeeper al night long and the music is also taken care of. Today we have invited everyone. I’m sure that it’s going to be a blast! Now all we need to take care of are the decorations, snacks and find out how many people exactly are coming…

Ok. I wrote it. Be less insecure about myself. Be LESS INSECURE about MYSELF. Yes. Great goal indeed. But what now? Where do I start? How does one loose her insecurity?

I suppose admitting the problem would be step 1. I mean that’s what Oprah keeps telling us right? So here it is: I am very very very very VERY insecure. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have my moments but still. I never think I look pretty enough, I never think i’m smart enough and I never feel like I worked or tried hard enough. I always feel something is wrong with me.

I know that’s not the way anyone should think about themselfes and I know it’s doesn’t match my positive spirit at all! But I just can’t help it. If something goes wrong, I assume it’s my fault. If someone says I can’t do something I believe this person. Of course i’m not letting it show. I alsways disagree at first but then when I go to sleep I can’t get it out of my head. Why did this person say those things? What did I do this time? I knew I couldn’t do it. By the time it’s morning, I feel like shit!

Now that i’m writing this down, i realise how unbelievebly stupid that is. I realise that i’m the one that’s making me feel bad by alowing others to do so. And I wan’t to be done with it! I do not want to sabotage myself any longer! There’s only one problem. I still have no idea what to do… I suppose i’ll start by accomplishing every goal on my list. In the meantime, does anyone have a good tip for me?