kitty0308

i need help and i know it … but for some reason i always resist and push people away and i dont know the reason for this. it may be because im stubborn .. but at certain points i think im fine .. so i stop my medication

i havent been taking my medication for a long time … and i still get my unbearably depressing moods … and my unbearingly angry moods. im never happy with anything and i dont know why .. i should be … and ive tried doing things that make me happy to take my mind off the bad moods and they dont help …no matter what i do i will never be happy with myself.

i want to know how i can make myself want to try and control it or stear it off, because i obviously give up.

im not going to lie … im overcomming bulimia, and i have recently been having breakdowns almost in a way. ive come to the conclusion that it does not help me even though i want to think it really does.

i always watch my calories on everything i eat … im a pescitarian and everytime i eat i feel so fat and i hate it. so i usually eat very very little durring the week then on the weekends i eat more food then u ever think a person culd eat. i hate fast food … but ill get like two number 1’s from mcdonalds (bigmac and fries with drink) and tons of chips and chocolate and cakes cookies .. anything i can get my hands on and just devoure it … and just throw it all up because i feel worse then i did in the first place. and i know its a horrible thing.

i need some advice on how to proportion my food throughout the day and not feel completely obese because ill eat a normal size lunch and it freaks me out.

i really need help on this and if you guys can help me ill b very very appreactiative… extreamly.

thank you very much.

> Katherine <

this sucks man … i got so pissed off at my mom today i just came downstairs and broke my mirror…i get so mad sometimes i just have to punch something .. and its not good thing … i try yelling but it doesnt help =(

do u guys think like play fighting or wrestling a guy friend wuld help?