kreamy

I never go to a church until this Friday.

One of my tutor invited me to the church on Friday, the reason why I promised her is that she shared her experiences about why and how she became a christian with me. I think religion is a mysterious power to encourge people and make people become more hopeful. Sometimes people get lost, but the only one who can lead people to find way seems to be god.

Will I become a christian in the future? I have no idea about that, but I respect all the gods (of different religious belief), that’s the reason why I go to the church, I think I can know more about the christian belief.

The interesting thing is that they practiced christian songs on that day, there are drummer,guitarist, bassist and vocal. They use different way to perform christian songs, and I enjoyed it! Besides, the drummer taught me how to beat a drum, ha…but I’m a tonedeaf, it’s a little bit difficult for me, because beating a drum needs good sense of rhythm. Anyway, I think it had fun.

Recently, I applied a volunteer job for Deaflympics, and I’m appreciated that I have this opportunity to join it. Actually, I feel nervous, because this activity needs foreign language volunteers, I really concern about my English oral ability. Anyway, I have three months to prepare and improve my English speaking ability, I will do my best and well-prepared before Deaflympics. After all, I got the chance; I need to be responsible for it.

How to stop caring people’s thought about me? It’s a hard to find the answer, even if I keep telling myself to speak out my mind, but it doesn’t seem to work. Sometimes I really want to share something inside my heart with my friends, but most of time my word is on the tips of my tongue. I’m afraid how people look at me, but it doesn’t mean I want to create a perfect image of myself, I just lack of courage to face myself in front of people.

I know I am confused…
I know I have lost myself…
I know I did something wrong…
I know it’s hard to get forgiveness…
I know I need to make a right decision…
I know I still cannot ignore people’s thought…

More time for me to clear my mind.