Dana Leigh Morgan

I am leaving for Phoenix pride in less than 8 hours!!!!

I’m off to Havasupai Falls tomorrow morning at 6.30am for a three day backpacking trip. WooT WooT!

I finished the scarf. Only took forever once classes started back up. I gave it to my roommate since I didn’t like the colours after all. He loved it and wanted it, so yay. Next I’m knitting a bag/purse on circular needles. I’m excited about it. I already screwed up though and had to start over. I had it twisted on the circular needles so it will never lay flat. I bound off and made it into a headband instead…It looks horrible. Maybe I’ll find a use for it someday.

I got a tattoo of a faerie based off a necklace I had recently received (with some modifications, of course).

I am knitting a pretty scarf and when I’m done with that, I’m going to knit a matching hat. I’m so excited. If I feel ambitious enough after that, I’ll knit a sweater, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. Maybe when I get done with the semester, I can have my grandmother help me out with the sweater, show me what to do…

I knitted a little mini purse. It’s kinda ugly, but oh well…It was just a strip of about 25 stitches, but when I took it off the needle, I folded it in half and sewed it up to make a purse. It holds my wallet and nothing else…It’s really tiny. But yay!

Since I’m leaving at the end of this new semester, I’m taking classes I want to take. So I enrolled in PHO 281 (Black and White Photography). It’s the basic photography class. So yay! Buying a real camera (not digital…i hate digital for the most part) when my financial aid comes in. So yay!!!

3.0 this semester…damn. Granted, I did turn in a lot of my Japanese workbook assignments in super late. And also skipped an entire month of Theatre history. But…I wrote a freakin’ awesome paper and did well on the final. So I got a B. it worked out. At least I’m still about a 2.whatever…I really didn’t think I could pull it off this semester.

I really don’t think i’m going to be physically able to pull of a 4.0 next semester because i have 3 (possibly 4) jobs. That’s right. Not even kidding. They’re all part time and flexible, but still. Also, I need to save up a lot of money because I’m leaving at the end of the semester to go to San Francisco. I’m done with NAU…I really really am. They don’t even have my major anymore as of the semester after next. So that leaves me high and dry. Whatever. I’m going to start my life and go back to school when I’m ready to handle all the beauracracy (sp?) of theatre departments. They’ve f*ed with my life enough. I’m just moving everything up a year. My family will be pissed, but I don’t care. I love them, but…it’s me. My. Mine. Me.

hopping a plane to go home to see it on broadway was too expensive and i didn’t have time. But I will see it on broadway eventually. Next time I go home.

Guess what? I am apparently out to my entire department. I didn’t want to be, but now that I am, I have forced to look at the silver lining. I’m out. Whether or not it was under my control, I’m out. I’m also out to band. And my freshman english teacher (RANDOM, that was almost three years ago). So I’m going to stop worrying about hiding my gender presentation to more or less anyone. I’m O-U-T out!

Fuck yeah. I’m scared and excited and happy and did I say scared? All at the same time. Don’t worry about it. I’ve been saying that alot when people ask questions I can’t answer or are doing whatever. I’m going to try to take my own advice. Don’t worry about it.

So I have “Se Vuol Ballare” down completely. And I’m currently learning “Non Piu Andrai” I like them both very much. This is an amazing opera!

So I have realized that my academic schedule lends itself to a calmer environment. Mondays and Wednesdays suck generally. But Tues, Thurs, Fri I only have one class (plus choir on tues, but that doesn’t count. Then I have rehearsal Sun-Thurs. But Fri and Saturday are my cleaning and homework days. Cleaning makes me happy. It calms me down. I listen to music and do mindless tasks. I love it.

I am no longer worrying about fitting into a specific gender role. male/female/other…whatever. It’s just another thing to worry about that I can’t do anything about. Fitting in makes me sick to my stomach. So Im just going to be me. Ok…so we’re done. I’m just me. What a load off my chest.

So I think that I’m going with passion is living life doing what you want and enjoying it. So here’s my thing:

There’s this certain someone that I’m really really into right now. She’s so freakin’ amazing and we’re a really good match with compatability and stuff. We’re great friends already but I really want something more.

Here’s the kicker. I’m a MTF transsexual. She’s straight. So I”m pretty sure she’s into me right now as a guy, but what about later down the road when I’m modifying my body? This has been messing with my conscience for months now. I think I have found a moral solution that works for me…let me try to explain.

I’m going to ask her out, plain and simple. she knows that i’m effeminate. everyone does, lol. So i’m going to start with that. Gender comes up in a good deal of conversations I have because it influences and is influenced by everything. So I’m going to bring up the idea that I don’t play by those rules and that I think gender is bullspit. This is a nice slow entry into the outside of gender thing. Then later on, but not too much later (I don’t want to string her along with false pretenses, I’m not that kinda gal) I’m going to tell her that I’m TG but not TS because I don’t know if I am anymore…it’s really a complicated and confusing thing for me right now and I’m still figuring it out. I’m going to tell her that I’m still figuring out stuff. I’m not lying and I’m not leaving out the truth, I’m just giving it to her in steps. This isn’t the most admirable way to do it, i know, but…it’s the best I can do right now without completely ruining any chance I have.

She’s a cool person, totally ally to LGBTQ stuff, so if she’s eased into it, there is a definite advantage. I’m not saying it will work absolutely, but I know that my chances are indeed increased if I do it this way. I know her well enough to know that.

God, I just hope it all goes well.

Living passionately is really really hard sometimes.

I am enrolled and attending my Japanese 101 class. I have already memorized all the Hiragana through sight. I just have to learn to write them all now by name. So that’s going to be fun. Flash Cards are an amazing invention

;’

I finished my bed last night at 8.30. Well, until I can get more lumber, I’m going to have to do without that really elaborate headboard I have planned, but that is a project in and of itself. So yay me!!

This month is to plan decorate my apartment. (I have no money, so I have to plan it only)

Live Passionately. What does that mean? I think that my goal is really to live how I want to live, do the things I want to do and not let anyone or their opinions/views impede my living passionately. semi-circular logic, i know. I bought several pairs of really cute jeans (and one super cute belt that totally makes two of the pairs). This is a start I think.

So because of time/distance constraints, this project won’t be completed until the first weekend of July…all I have to do is put the bed together, that will literally take only a few hours because I’m doing the construction completely without metal. Wooden nails. Fun times.