Elizabeth

The first cold I catch in over 2 years, and it would figure its at a time when cold meds are off limits, lol. I’m sure its because my immune system is in baby mode right now – I read that women are more likely to get sick when they are pregnant. Usually hubby is sick a couple times each year and I manage to dodge it, but not this time. Thank goodness yesterday was Saturday. If it hadn’t been I would have had to take off work. Between the normal pregnancy fatigue, and the extra sneezing, sniffling, and fever and was down for the count. I basically shuffled between the bathroom and the couch all day. Boy did I miss NyQuil Friday night! But – better safe than sorry, so I’m limited to Tylenol and saline nasal spray. And Puffs with lotion. :) At least I feel better today!

I’m getting excited for my first prenatal, even though it’s still two and a half weeks away. I met with a really nice midwife right after I found out I was pregnant and I’m really looking forward to seeing her again. I’m really hopeful that she will be able to find a heartbeat for us. I think everthing will feel more real after that.

You know, its funny but the longer we wait to tell everyone – the more anxious I get about telling. I really hate being the center of attention and I’m a pretty private person. No one even knew we were trying to conceive, although plenty of people have been badgering us about when we will start having kids. So annoying! I need to spend less time thinking about it and take it one day at a time. I mean, I’m already worrying about being forced to have a baby shower! I really disliked having a bridal shower, but the moms insisted and I wanted to make them happy. I mean I love my families, but all that attention all at once was really overwhelming for me.

I wish I wasn’t so shy sometimes. Some women thrive on that kind of attention, but it just makes me cringe. I’m happy to be pregnant, and I’ve been trying to get exited about sharing my news but the closer we get the more nervous I get. Oh well, I will try to put it out of mind for a bit longer.

Counting down the days until I see my midwife, I am excited for that!

What a tumultuous week! Thank goodness baby is still pretty independant right now, or it would have been dragged right along with my emotional meltdowns the past few days. I have no doubt that if I were down the road the poor thing would have gotten a megashot of adrenaline and other stress related chemicals. Glad my little tic-tac is safe and sound!

I’m still pretty nauseous and tired (and other things that would be qualified as an “overshare”). And I cannot stand the sight, smell, or thought of eggs right now. I just got told they were really good for me during pregnancy too, the irony. Even writing the word “egg” is grossing me out – how sad is that? I totally thought that part was a wives tail – but I am so averse I cannot even think about them without being more nauseated.

I am still in good spirits though! Sometimes I forget for a little while that I am pregnant, and then it hits me again (like a wave of queasiness, lol) and I am like a kid at Christmas all over! I am just ticking down the weeks until I can share my news. The grandpas-to-be are going to be overjoyed! They’ve been asking about grandkids since before we were married. :)

This has been an extremely stressful week for my family. My brother’s wife called the wedding off.

They had a courthouse wedding this spring after he got done with bootcamp, and had a celebration/wedding planned for February 12th (three weeks away). He has been deployed to Iraq since the beginning of November and had gotten leave to come home for two weeks for the wedding. Now she says she is not happy, that the wedding is cancelled, and doesn’t know if she wants a divorce.

How can I type that so matter-of-factly? To say I am extremely upset is an understatement. The shock has begun to wear off, but we were all blindsided by this. My poor parents have been doing damage control as best as they can, and my brother… is miserable. I can’t tell you how many teary conversations I’ve had with my mom and dad over this. I just keep alternating between shocked, appalled, enraged, and terribly sad.

There are a lot of unanswered questions in all of this, and there are two parties in every relationship… but I just can’t help thinking how could she do this? He is deployed overseas fighting for his country right now! She knew she would be an army wife!

It’s all just so crappy, and I feel so terrible that I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is be there for my brother when he comes home. And hopefully that girl will make up her mind soon, because this limbo sucks.

Its so strange because I have this odd feeling that some alternate me is still working on getting her dress altered, picking a bridal shower gift, getting ready for a bachelorette night out, listening to my mom chat about wedding stuff, being blissfully happy about seeing her brother again soon… and then there is reality.

This is just another season to weather, and maybe we will find a bigger meaning in all this later. All I can do right now is pray.