kyoko825

i became a perfect vegan again, but then broke over thanksgiving. i’m now re-committed. i, of course, didn’t eat meat, but what i did eat may have included some eggs, a bit of butte and milk, but not a lot. still, i’m recommitted now that i’m back in my home environment.

i’m going on two years as a vegan. and i want to perfect my vegan diet. i rarely eat non-vegan around other people because i’m embarrassed to admit i do eat non-vegan at all. that being said, i just scarfed down a piece of baklava after sitting at a coffee shop without any other food options for two hours. my roommate’s birthday was last weekend and i bought her a cake. and i had a piece of it with my roommates (shocked them), and then another piece secretly on my own! i bought myself a peppermint patty candy and another candy thinking they were dark-chocolate and so would be fine. when i realized they weren’t vegan, i ate them anyway! i would never have done any of this when i first became a vegan. i want to get back on track. non-vegan food makes me feel sick.

yes. i empathize. i’m a health nut regularly. then every few weeks, i have an episode or two or three… where i binge and eat everything i can. it’s very emotionless when i’m doing it. i eat really really quickly, not for a love of food, but an attempt to stop living and have a reason to zone out or do something bad. i hate it. i always feel disgusting and extremely sad after. i want to stop. it’s the worst thing that i do. and i really need to stop for good… i can’t think it’s ok to do it every now and then. it’s not ok. it becomes a vicious cycle.