I'm doing 34 things
i hate this feeling….i am jealous that my boyfriend likes my friend. i know he thinks she is hot everyone does. i cant even put her down to some stupid bimbo because i know her and she is a lovely girl……......i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose my friendship but honestly i am threatened that he is thinking that he got the wrong girl…..and i feel like i cant measure up. i dont know if we are meant to be together anymore. its annoying because i hate thinking that hes thinking about her. she loves the attention so is a bit more out there and more confident with talking to my boyfriend. i know she doesnt like him at all in that way (shes very pretty) but she still does the flirty eye look at him. its like they are a couple and im in the background. like what the fuck! whats wrong with me?! i cant even tell him how i feel cause i know he will brush it off. i cant tell anyone else cause they will think im some jealous bitch about everyone…but i swear its only her and him that i get jealous over!
laaa's Life List
-
1. live simply
8 entries . 3 cheers3,264 people -
2. identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
21 entries . 1 cheer7,903 people -
3. pass my exams
11 entries . 2 cheers479 people -
4. become better at small-talk
2 entries . 2 cheers2,032 people -
5. be more outgoing
2 entries2,765 people -
6. be happy
4 entries . 3 cheers24,864 people -
7. Lose 30 pounds
13 entries5,626 people -
8. meditate every day
1 entry . 1 cheer746 people -
9. not be lonely
2 entries123 people -
10. reinvent myself
8 entries . 1 cheer431 people -
11. Become Financially Independent
5 entries6,593 people -
12. not care what other people think of me
1 cheer113 people -
13. Cook one recipe a week
2 entries . 1 cheer4 people -
14. drink more water
4 entries20,256 people -
15. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
21,508 people -
16. Worry less.
6 entries . 1 cheer4,750 people -
17. be more positive
4 entries2,797 people -
18. re-learn Italian
31 people -
19. dont put important things off
11 entries1 person -
20. go to an acting class
1 entry . 1 cheer3 people -
21. get a new job
1 entry2,003 people -
22. nail these exams
1 entry1 person -
23. Buy a holiday house
1 entry7 people -
24. control my jealousy
1 entry195 people -
25. list 43 songs that never fail to brighten my day
3 entries35 people -
26. pay it forward
1 entry666 people -
27. smile way more in my day
1 person -
28. get at least 8 hrs sleep every night
10 entries1 person -
29. stop using facebook as much
5 entries1 person -
30. Put more effort into my appearance
1 entry6 people -
31. Be a better friend
4 entries6,299 people -
32. decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life
1 entry7,244 people -
33. stop criticizing myself
1 entry . 1 cheer88 people -
34. stop being so jealous
1 entry177 people
How I did it: after thinking i was alone in many ways.... i went out a lot- with anyone and everyone- got drunk a few times and very depressed. i felt empty. i got this stage out of my system. next step was never saying no to anything. i meet as many people as i could. that was good for a while too.......when invited to go on trips i did that as well. saved and saved if it meant i could have experiences with these people to know them better. i was tire… Read how I did it…
How I did it: hated this subject. but in order to get a degree you have to do the stuff you dont want to, just put your mind to it. you are more stronger than you know. it was really hard to focus at the time but now that its over it seemed easy. Read how I did it…
ive only just realised that i am jealous but its a different kind of jealous its the kind where i start to think…..if he had more confidence he would be with her.
last party we went to was with my friend and i have to admitt i was jealous of him talking to my drop dead stunning single friend half the night. even if i was right there next to him. i felt like i was in the background! like i was watching them play fight and joke around! when he had something to say he would say ‘(her name), listen to this’.....
why do i feel like this? i am not as hot as her and she has everything going for her, and i cant really say a bad word about her because i know she is a beautiful person inside and out and that just makes me feel worse. i cant even say well at least its only the looks. Thats not to say that i dont get attention either from guys, im just a more reserved type and if a guy doesnt seem interested in me, i wont bother chasing at all.
i was angry at him last night and since the party and i cant help but feel this way. all yesterday i hardly heard from him and when i told him i missed him in a msg i didnt even get a reply!
like WTF now that i am writing this i know i am better. i feel better already. Jealousy is not something you can really talk about because i know he even thinks my best friend is hotter than me (and he is always telling me i should dye my hair blonde- (her hair color).
i am me….i usually dont put myself down so much so why am i doing it now? i am better than this!
i know he would never cheat thats not why i am jealous…i am jealous of the thoughts he is probarly having that he isnt with ‘the best for him’.
