lajacques

is catching up



I'm doing 10 things
 

lajacques's Life List

  1. 1. Reflect, Select, and Remove
    1 person
  2. 2. Overcome Bulimia
    2 cheers
    202 people
  3. 3. Get good at snowboarding
    10 people
  4. 4. Become a professor at Cal
    1 person
  5. 5. Achieve both Phd/Md
    2 cheers
    1 person
  6. 6. get a motorcycle
    399 people
  7. 7. go noodling
    6 people
  8. 8. Visit a slaughterhouse
    1 person
  9. 9. swim with whale sharks
    48 people
  10. 10. find the symbol for my next tattoo
    81 people
Recent entries
let go
About time, damn it.

It took me 3 years to get over an emotionally dysfunctional relationship. I lost friends who were fed up with the unending torture that I put myself through. They were frustrated that they couldn’t do anything and that, simply, I couldn’t see the truth that he was toxic for me. I destroyed other romantic relationships because I had hopes that he would change. I basically put myself on hold for this sad, sad fellow.

Losing those friends were hard, but I wouldn’t be where I am now if they kept holding my hands. And for those other guys that I broke and left in pieces, I have vowed to never get into a relationship until I am ready.

I never felt more alone yet sturdy in where I stand in life.

I used to be afraid to walk around campus in case I saw him or vice versa. But the sad thing was that I both wanted and not wanted to see him. I was still chained to him even though he was not in my life anymore. But then one day, today, I went on this web site and clicked “I did it.” And this glorious wave of lightness came across me. I don’t know if I’ll feel the same way once I step out my house and walk around, but I think I’m going to be fine. I won’t be afraid anymore. I won’t be tied down to the past. I am going to only look forth and smile.

I mean what else can you do, ya’know?




 

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