I'm doing 43 things
okay, i totally went so well for a few days. i was so proud of not picking, and my face was looking so good for it, but then – what the hell do i go and do! squeeze every single thing there was to squeeze on my face! aaaaaa! im having my 21st in 2 weeks, and right now my skin is sooo gross! i want to look really good for my 21st, so i can look back on photos and like what i looked like, but as if my skins going to be able to recover in that short time! omggggg! i cant believe it – that has been my goal for so long… i always said to myself everything will be perfect by the time im 21, i’ll finally sort out all my skin problems, n eating crap… but here i am – 2 weeks to go, and still the same loser! i need to do this – i need to stop picking and squeezing. im so obsessed, i even do it in my sleep! i feel like a crazy person, but i know im not! i can do this, i know i can – i need to be pretty for my 21st! pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
lara54's Life List
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1. stop worrying what other people think
57 people -
2. stop worrying so much
716 people -
3. go on more holidays
15 people -
4. be able to spend time by myself at home and not eat
1 person -
5. learn to relax
646 people -
6. fall in love
27,226 people -
7. sell some things on ebay
1 person -
8. sponser a child
64 people -
9. be happy with what I have
268 people -
10. live each day as it comes
2 people -
11. improve my general knowledge
165 people -
12. visit my family in tasmania
1 person -
13. get massages reguarly
1 person -
14. grow my own vegetables
1,559 people -
15. see a shooting star
285 people -
16. sleep on the beach
399 people -
17. see more sights
1 person -
18. learn to surf
8,124 people -
19. travel
9,036 people -
20. learn to make my own clothes
226 people -
21. be happy with the way my family are
1 person -
22. go to bed feeling happy with how my day went
1 person -
23. get a job I enjoy
279 people -
24. exercise every day
958 people -
25. find a loving boyfriend
1 entry4 people -
26. start spending more time with friends
1 entry1 person -
27. stop eating for comfort
4 people -
28. do yoga every day
280 people -
29. look in the mirror and be happy with what I see
45 people -
30. have more patience with my family
8 people -
31. get rid of bulimia and binge eating disorder
2 people -
32. paint more
1,386 people -
33. improve my self esteem
112 people -
34. have more energy
956 people -
35. learn to say 'no'
1,322 people -
36. finish my degree
2,579 people -
37. not let little things get to me as much
1 person -
38. be more social
5,412 people -
39. stress less
1,064 people -
40. floss my teeth every day
23 people -
41. take more photos
3,702 people -
42. write a book
31,073 people -
43. stop picking at my face
4 entries137 people
I soo want a boyfriend, but at the same time I am so glad I don’t have one. He would make all my problems go away. But how is that going to happen when I am too embarressed to let others now about my eating disorders and my compulsive skin picking?
I guess this has alot to do with the way I feel about myself – my skin and my eating issues. I am so ashamed of the person I’ve become – someone who can’t stop picking at their pimples (even though it is SO obvious it is making it worse!) and someone who eats like a total pig and vomits it all back up after!
I used to be a pretty social person, but more and more I am spending time alone at home hiding… I make up excuses why I can’t see friends. I live with my dad, brother & sister, so it is not like i’m totally totally alone, but I may as well be. My dad works night shifts so we don’t see him much, and my sibling are at school
Anyways, I just want to go out of the house without getting so stressed out and depressed about the way I look.
