RP

I took the timer downstairs with me tonight and got in a good productive 30 minutes on the Bax Trio. I wish that a) I were in better physical shape to practice longer and that b) I didn’t have so many other things to do. But I’m not and I do, so that is that and I won’t whine. I’ll just try to keep at it every day, even the most stressful days.

I recently got called for a Nutcracker run down in San Jose. After consulting with another area harpist I asked for and got my biggest per service fee ever. I’m really making a healthy amount of money for this gig. It’s funny because some of the jobs I’ve had here have been kind of low pay compared to what I got in NC, but others have been loads higher. The variation is quite large. I suppose it has something to do with the size of the market and the relative strength of the union. At any rate, this gives me some hope for my employability in 2010, as well as my potential service fee. Honestly, I’d be happy even to make 5000.00 freelancing in 2010, but lets see what happens.

Yes, it is easier than it was when I started, but I still feel as though I am working all of the time, not getting enough sleep, constantly hounded and under stress and can’t get anything else done, like laundry or cooking basic meals. Marriage has helped a bit, but not enough to get me to stop thinking about a career change. Besides, even if K were able to take up all household slack (which he can’t, because he has a job too) I want to be able to take care of my own house. I also want to be able to make more money. Not necessarily lots more money, but I foresee this job as being pretty flat in the near and long term. I’m thinking of the following general areas: digital information (especially sound) as a specialization of information science, higher education admin or something else. I miss being my own boss, too, but at least now I feel a lot more secure—I’m paying off debt, I have healthcare and I have a retirement account. The problem is, I used to feel a lot of anxiety about getting by financially; now I feel anxiety about my ability to keep going. Naturally I sometimes wonder which is better/worse?
The other problem with a career shift is I think that it will be harder and harder now that I am in my mid forties and furthermore, it will require additional education or something like it. I have a lot of education and skills already, but I don’t know how to translate them into anything else.