17. Getting there!
Have you heard Scarlett Johansson’s cover of Falling Down – i love the banjo in that song, it makes me want to weep
is Waterstones (a UK bookstore). I spend hundreds of pounds in there, and have piles of books around my 4 book cases. I love my big collection, and am so proud of it, but i ought to use the library, if only to save the trees! If only you could de-germ library books though..!
Amy (greenforlife), you have made my day. So here is Goal Number 17 – keep in touch. Don’t forget about anyone; if i have a random thought about anyone, send them a message to say hi. It will give them the biggest smile, just like mine right now.
I have about 2 episodes of the final season to go. SOOOO excited!
One of my closest friends once told me that the only reason she ever spoke to me was because she thought she’s rather be on the right side of me than the wrong side. She thought I looked like a bitch. I know I often come across as stuck up, but in actual fact, I’m just terrified in social situations that nobody wants me there, so I try to shut up and just listen. And end up looking like I don’t want to be there.
I realised this morning that all the girls (cos it’s girls I’ve always had difficulty getting close to) I ‘hated’ in school, because they were arrogant cows who thought they were better than everyone else, were probably just the same as me, and that I might have missed out on some amazing friends by being to narrow-minded.
So I’m welcoming a new way of thinking, in which I’m going to scrap all the assumptions I’ve ever had about either people I used to ‘know’, or anyone new, and I’m open to anything.
I’m sorry you’re losing your new friend. I know exactly how you feel. I’ve only ever felt truly comfortable with one friend, and that got all messed up when we were younger, and we grew apart without each other. I went away to uni a couple of years ago, and met an amazing girl who lived just down the road. Then we both dropped out, and she lives hours away now. I’ve only seen her once in 3 years, and although it was nice, again, we grew apart without each other. Make sure you stay in close touch and visit loads! And we’ll continue the search…
However, i have an amazing boyfriend, and am very proud to say he’s mine – he gets me 110%. Sometimes though, all i really need is a girl without a hidden agenda.
I try to smile all the time, and don’t tell jokes to the people i hang around with at uni, cos they don’t get my sense of humour. Think i need to find new friends…
I’m a real cow sometimes. But I try. I need to, my parents are amazing. It just gets hard.
Quite high on the list of priorities, this one. Exams start in about 3 weeks, and i’ve not done anything really. Tips on how to get motivated, anyone?
I had my vertical labret removed about 3 years ago. VERY sad and i’m going to get it re-done at some point. It doesn’t really hurt though, for anyone who’s considering it. Well, it does for about half a second, but it just feels kind of like fire. Paper cuts hurt more.
Someone came up to me in a bar recently and asked me where I got my dress from. Selfish reasons for asking i guess, but as demonstrated by my remembering and posting it here, it made my night! So we should all make a point of saying so when something strikes us as especially good.
Today i bought about 6 tshirts, a pair of jeans and a skirt. Bad start…
I think I need to live more first, but it’s something I’m determined to do one day. I have a regular column in a local paper though, so that’s a step in the right direction.
Last year, around Christmas time, i bordered on being a fully blown anorexic. I’m not trivialising eating disorders, they’re really serious, but i wish i could just stop eating again. I’m healthy, slim, but curvy (in the right places). But i do look at women in the media and wish i was skinny. I know if i eat fruit and veg and exercise, it’ll happen, but i lost 20 pounds in a short amount of time, and felt amazing. I was bloody hungry though. Anyway, my goal is to get thin the healthy way, and to stay that way.
It’s not free! I need to remember the cash coming out of my account. Just cos it arrives on my doorstep and I don’t physically hand over the money doesn’t mean it’s any better than standing in a queue in a shop with bags full of stuff!
2. Laughing so hard i make an embarrassing noise, or i cry
3. Lazy days
4. Seeing old people who are still in love
6. Acting like a child
7. Drawing and singing (i can’t do either well)
8. Driving with my sunglasses on
9. A new dress
10. When my boyfriend looks at me and i know exactly what he’s thinking
I’m sure there are only about 5 people in the world who get me. There are probably only about 4 who I actually like and want to spend time with. But I’m surrounded by people all day, and I have to be nice to them and be likeable, when in fact I can’t stand any of them. They’re all children, with petty problems and no thoughts for anyone but themselves. Where are all the people like me? I try to be funny, and the few people who know the real me, and understand me, they’d laugh, we’d have fun, but I consistently find myself trying so hard to be liked. But I don’t care what any of these people think, cos they’re awful themselves. I need to be myself and forget about what I sound like. Cos eventually I’ll find that group of people who will be friends for life. And it will have been worth the wait.