lea_vitrine

so, today i make a decision that will change my life. i will find love in the next 20 days. it is personal challenge i wish to achieve. i will make rahman realize that i love him. how? i think about it later. now i am just so excited. i ‘ll keep u posted of what haappen in the next 20 days. finger crossed.

not to feel free doesnt really meant you are physically held captive by someone. the prisoner locked away is free if he really have the feel that he is in peace with himself. for once i just want to feel grateful to be alive, to feel it is enough already, with everything that god have presented me with. i just want to feel free that it will take my weihgt off so i can fly. not to worry with this world and its issues. i want to be lost so that no one could find me. i want to sit on top of the mountain and watch the sky above me and sit around doing nothing for the rest of my life.

Love, what it is actually. i describe it as semi-concious feeling you have towards others. it make you do crazy things u never done before. it make u want to cry in all of sudden, it make u smile without any reasons, or it make u feel that this world is much better place with the one u love. me, i never been in love before until recently. i am the kind of person who hardly fall in love, i didnt wear my heart on my sleeve. or u can called me commitment phobic. in 25 years of my love i never been in relationship. yes, there are guys who approached me, but i turn them down without thinking twice. i never go out for a date yet been kissed. pathetic right. there this guy rahman, who two years younger than me, i think he likes me and i like him back. the problem is i am his boss, and i found out that he likes me because i am trophy girlfriend and i am hard to get so he like the chased. honestly, i love him. he make the weekend seem very very long, and i just cant wait to hear his voice every morning. but i think i really play hard to get and he seem to lost interest in me. he is very handsome guy with the right attitude. oh god i just love him so much it hurt. i really dont know wht to do to make him undertsand that i love him. must i take the first move. well actually he already make the first move. the ball in my court for so long and i think i begin to lose the game. dont know what to do, but i love him. i am so not good at this love thing.