lessis

I need to stop feeling this way before my thai trip because it will ruinnn it. I felt lovesick throughout cuba and it was similar. At least I am more artistically inspired, but god it sucks. Ill have to take note on how I can do this. Ordering myself to just not think about it has not worked. It just makes me think of it more…I guess I just have to bear it, maybe even do some painting. Most great art is born under negative emotions anyway…

Its happening again and I am completely stupid stupid stupid with my overwhelming emotions. This happens every two years Ive taken note of that. Well its happening again, thank god I dont see him too often. I have been recently but I think the only thing to do in these cases is to stay far away. Especially when its clear nothing can ever happen. If I could only stop feeling so lovesick…

I’ve bought a book about personal injuries, so am planning to read cover to cover and see if there is anything in there that I can think of that will max my claim. I’ve just calculated that at this stage I think it is worth anywhere between 2M and 5M (plus house) but of course what I will end up getting may be something very different. At the moment, things to do to max clam are:

- more care more care as much as I can possibly take
- reading above said book
- organizing all the physio stuff (hydro, knee, riding, cycle)
- getting a szobabicikli maybe
- lobbying for a running instructor to be paid and running legs of course
- Rea in thailand :I would have flown out alone and met her so Jameses costs cant be offset
- Add in driving test – IAM fee into costs
- When I get around to driving: Do it with carer each time
- Complain about loss of sleep
- Complain about stress at work
- Complain about being worried about everything
- Complain about fear of being outside
- Fear of being around cyclists and lorries in car too
- Fatigue during the day
- Nightmares
- Taking a bit of amatriptalin