lilgirllost

I have been through relationship after relationship where guys have treat me bad. They always promise me the world and then act really selfishly in the end. i always become jelous of their freedom while i struggle with my problems. At the moment i am with a guy who i dont know if i should be with anymore, he always lets me down and just doesnt act like he cares. I love him and he gets annoyed when i try to talk to him about how i feel, he says i should believe him when he tells me he loves me but i dont feel the love so how can i believe it.
When things are good they are great but we have some mad arguements where we both say awful things to hurt each other.
He annoys me how he always wants to get stoned and how he is a different person when hes with his friends.
I just dont know what to do anymore i love him but sometimes it feels as if its just not worth it anymore.
Im also feeling really confused about where my life is going im doing a degree in counselling studies which does not result in me becoming a counsellor without taking a masters. Im unsure of which masters to do, im interested in art therapy but most courses need previous art qualifications!
If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated!
thanks
x

i hate the feeling of breaking up with someone, the frustration, the pain in my chest, my facial muscles hurt from screwing it up with rage i feel lost, confused, dissapointed and upset!
i thought this time things would be different, i really believed greg would be my ‘one’, and at first things were great but then we started to argue. As i got to know him better i realised he was exactally the same as my exs always putting drugs before me, cancelling plans all the time and making me pay for everything. I broke up with my ex will a year and a half ago he was my first love and i have still not gotten over him, he was my whole world and i would have given everything to him! When i met greg i thought that he could make me forget about will i really liked him and we got on really well. He was on my counselling course at uni so i felt we really undestood each other. We told each other everything about our pasts, a few years ago my brother became really ill due to too many drugs this led to him attempting suicide, i spoke to greg about this and he was a big help. Lately however he has really changed, he has become really insensitive and selfish he wants to get stoned every single night leaving me to sit bored at his house while he enjoys himself, he gets really jelouse when i see my friends and has stopped me speaking to my best male friend. Each arguement we have i feel kills us a little more. I want so much to cut him out of my life i want to move on and be happy on my own but it is so hard, i keep thinking about how great he used to be and im scared leaving him will be a huge mistake i do care about him in a way that after will i never thought possible but i cant handle the hurt anymore! All i think about are the things i will lose like when uni starts again the friends we both had will become just his friends plus im living at uni during the summer by myself and things are really lonely without him. i just dont know what to do!!!!! Someone give me some light on what to do please!!!!! x

its been ten months since we broke up and i still think of him everyday sometimes i dream that we are back 2gether, it feels so real and hurts like hell when i wake up. sometimes i feel like im over him and then i will think of him again. As soon as we broke up i went out with someone else and me and that person have just broken up it was a mistake 2 be with this person, he was just a rebound and what what you really need after a break up is space to just be yourself. Reading some of my entries from the beginning of the break up i have realised tha although i am not completely over my ex i have made some progress, i dont need him anymore and i have proven that life will go on without him, besides he is happy now and that is all i ever wanted. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and through breaking up with will i have become stronger. i have been away at uni for 3 months now and i love it, if i was still with will i wouldnt have come here i know i wouldnt! i guess you just have 2 b patient with these things i now its hard and the progress is incredibly slow but little by little it does get better. im glad me and will were together we had an amazing few years together and i wouldnt change that for the world.