littlebutterfly

I have not lost anymore weight… I have slimmed down some though. It feels overwhelming, but I know I will be fit again. I am going to start running again. I ealized something important in my life. I have surrounded myself with peopl who complain and find the negative in everything.

I have surrounded myself with people who draw negative things into their lives. I have to get such people out of my life and find those who are positive and goging in the right direction.

I want to have good loving caring people in my life. I see joy and love and I want that, even though I have only rearely experienced it in my own life. I watched a couple today, they were both well kept, and physically fit, even though they were both average in looks, it made them attractive. And they were really affectionate with each other.

I see men who have overweight girlfriends and wives who treat them with love and respect. I just watch from a distance because it seems so wonderful. I have never expereinced that kind of acceptance. Bt then I have never before accepted myself as I am. I think it is time to start enjoying my life and attracting people into my life who will like me and enjoy me for who I am.

There really is emoptional baggage that I need to lose before I will actually lose more weight. I am sure of that now. I just have to work through it. As I work through it the weight will naturally come off. It is encouraging.

I have dropped from 248.5 to 225! That is a sum total of 23.5 pounds… wow! I feel good! It took three months but it was worth every second..thing was I still ate junk food and went to all you can eat places. I jsut made differnt choices and did it less often. I am so good! Addtionally I ahve put on more muscle mass, which means I have actually lost more than that! Woo hoo!

I am applying for programs at UC Davis… I will get in I am sure!