littlejaded

Bought myself a Hershey’s Pot of Gold box of chocolates. It’s all about treating yourself every once in awhile.

_{Okay, so I try to do it on a daily basis.}

2009 was a crazy year for me, to say the least….and in the aftermath, I’ve simply lost touch with a lot of people – both online and off. I sure would like to get in contact with many of them. Too all of my peeps here on 43T, I am sorry I had to bail out for awhile.
It was simply a matter of survival – I needed to focus on getting my little family through a tough situation.

Now that the fog has lifted a bit, I’m remembering those who I’ve gotten to know, especially on this site. I look forward to reading your goals and cheering you all on once again!

After reading John Grisham’s book several years ago, I have entertained the thought of skipping Christmas now and again. This year, I wish I really could make this thought a reality.
But how can one do that when you have 3 kids who are desperately clinging to old traditions and eager to start new ones?

Don’t get me wrong…there are so many things I love about Christmas – the spirit of it, the music. But this year, especially this year….there are painful memories associated with it. Last Christmas was a nightmare for me and the kids. Somehow, miraculously, they don’t seem to be affected by all the preparations going on around them in the community.
Yet, it’s affecting me.

I guess I’m a date person…so I remember where I was last year at this time and even though things in my marriage were bad, I had no idea of what lay ahead – the pain and anguish that would follow for months. Unfortunately, Christmas Day was the turning point….the line that was drawn between my old life and my new one. And while there is a tremendous sense of freedom and hope for a peaceful future, I still have a long road ahead of me.

I just keep telling myself that next Christmas we’ll be in a better place – a place of our own, hopefully I’ll have a decent job and we can put all this behind us. But this year is a healing year and, much like grief, can’t be rushed. If it were up to me, I’d just hibernate and wake up in the spring. But my cubs are counting on me. So this Christmas, I just want the strength to go on.