littlesparkles

This goal has many facets and motives. I suppose the true motive behind this goal is to make and keep friends. But before I can do that I have to be a good friend. I suppose my biggest problem is keeping in touch with people. I care about my friends and family, but from a great distance. I suppose I’m scared of having too many people in my life. I want my life to be simple, because there is only so much time in a day. But I still need a network of support. So I have to learn how to support others and reach out to them, overextend my comfort zone. Then maybe I will see people reach out to me.

Today I went into a pizza place that I haven’t gone to in a long time. The reason I stopped going wasn’t because of the food, which is completely addictive and even moderately healthy. No, the reason I stopped going was because there is a man who works there who hits on me every time I walk in. I tolerated it for a while, always reminding him that I’m married. But then one day he handed me napkins and then grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let it go for a very uncomfortable second. Being the coy, shy, pushover type, I just smiled and walked away (cursing him loudly with my inner voice).

But I mustered up the courage to walk into the store today, because I FELT like having pizza. I was greeted by him almost immediately as I entered the door. But I kept a stone cold face. “No smile?” he said to me. I just raised my eyebrows at him snobbishly, no smile. I ordered. “To stay?” “NO,” He had someone else ring me up and I left. I didn’t entertain his fancies one bit.

I’m so proud of myself for having stood up to this kind of behavior, which I’ve tolerated too much of in the past. A lot of women think it’s fun and flattering to get hit on. But it doesn’t really do anything for your self-esteem. It only confirms the belief that we are only worth what we look like on the outside. But it kills the way we feel on the inside. In a way it has always been my fault for having tolerated getting hit on. Now, I refuse to smile and laugh along!

I took two yoga classes in college and loved it! Though admittedly, I haven’t managed to incorporate yoga into my lifestyle and have forgotten a great deal of what I learned. and a lot of flexibility along with it! I have started excercising and learning kung fu recently. In addition I will be taking Sunday belly dancing classes. Somehow I’ve got to get the yoga in there to help maintain my balance, flexibility and concentration. Mastering this one art will help me greatly in mastering the others.