logish

I’ve been listening to hypnosis recordings a few times a week to reduce my fear of cockroaches.

Days ago, I managed to spray down a young flying cockroach and wrap it in newspaper to throw away. I found out I can handle the presence of a cockroach if I either close my eyes or ignore its ugly features when killing it. If I look at its feelers, ugly eyes or kicking legs, I’ll end up screaming.

Last night, I had a vivid nightmare and I remember using scrunched up newspaper to whack a huge cockroach dead. And even flicking a smaller cockroach off my thigh.

Yes, it was a dream. But if I’m able to subconsciously deal with cockroaches, perhaps I am actually reducing my fear with the help of hypnosis.

It is a small step towards my goal. And I’m feeling happy about it. I’m not ready to deal with huge flying cockroaches though. Or even huge running cockroaches.

Logen Lanka
http://logish.org

I used to believe mental preparation and theoretical knowledge was key to gaining confidence. That, however, is inaccurate.

One has to challenge himself in the world of reality, where unplanned and spontaneous behaviour runs the show. You will not know the outcome of your unplanned actions, but if you succeed, this experience becomes a great confidence booster. It allows you to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Yesterday, my gathering with old friends made me realise I still subconsciously held on my perfectionist ideals. I observed myself not daring to trying new things for fear of appearing stupid. For instance, at the funfair, it was until Danny handed me the ‘riffle’ in his insistance that I try to hit the target that I did so. I missed the target but made a close shot.

This ordinary experience gave me profund insight: Sometimes, we have to give ourselves the right to be imperfect, be unconcerned about the outcome but have fun. I was so afraid of appearing incompetent. But once I made the imperfect but close shot, I learnt to have more faith in myself.

So, the key to my quest of confidence, is to put myself in reality and practice having faith in my abilities.

Logen L.

These days, I’m trying to sleep before midnight and wake before noon. I dislike feeling as if my entire day is wasted when I wake up in the evening.

This links up to being productive with my day. By having a regular sleep/wake pattern, I’m able to plan my time better. And I won’t be fatigued and grumpy.

I desperately need the energy to make the changes I desire.

Logen L.
http://logish.org