lolly_abbott

I realised earlier in the year that if I don’t exercise regularly and eat well, keeping my weight down then my back goes. I am a healthy weight but when it goes up just a few pounds through not eating right and exercising, I suffer from lower back pain. It’s caused by the fact that my back muscles are too strong in comparison to my stomach. The last couple of days I have spent clearing out the loft…using my back muscles. As a result, my back went last night. No more incentive needed.

I have just done 30 mins on the cross trainer, 721 cals burnt, 2525 steps counted.

If I do this everyday then my back shouldn’t go again. So from now on, at least 30 mins of exercise everyday. I feel good. This is a realistic goal.

So far so good lol. Actually it’s not, it’s really hard. Night time is worst. I miss txt messages and phone calls. I’ve texted a guy I had a fling with on holiday and my ex but nothing regrettable, just a “how are you” type thing. I guess I’m just lonely.

Sometimes I think that if my mom made more effort to talk to me & I was happy then I wouldn’t look for happiness from someone else. I guess I just need to find it in friends, talk to my mom and try and work through this.

Maybe I should email her & say, this is how I feel, can we please hang out & do something together…that’s an idea! I’m going to do it!

Well it’s only been 4 whole days but I feel good about it this time. I’m doing stuff for me, I’ve got a piano (not yet picked it up) so that’ll be a new hobby, I’m starting a teacher training course on 15th Sept & I’ve set myself a few targets until then.

This is a first for me – I’ve not really been single since I was about 17 so it’s hard. I’ve used boyfriends as a way to mask how crappy I’ve felt about other things but now I’ve realised it’s got to change, I’ve got to face it & grow up.

I don’t know how long I need to leave it until I even think about a new relationship. Some people say a couple of months, I was thinking at least six and my mom said I should wait until Easter…so that’s like 8 months. I guess I’ll know when I’m ready.