4 photos

lostandsearching




I'm doing 21 things
  
Recent entries
meet the man of my dreams
fading.... 3 months ago

u know I never dreamed about men, husbands, anything like that. never had plans to marry. Im not one of those girls who ever thought even for a second about ‘what my wedding would be like’...ok I take that back…I thought I would climb to the mtn top with someone; exchange joys of the heart and be committed by our love forevermore..no ceremonies, no paper, no rings…I think it was an X generation thing. Then, I met this one guy. he made me wanna have an audience of 1000 so I could tell the WHOLE world about him. his family said no. he was a great guy..kindness, kindness…caring, love and humility. Then, 8 years, E-I-G-H-T years before my heart would be captured by another. It is now, captured. and I am trying become free. because he’s mean, inconsistent, unstable..he lies to me. I see his good heart, what is possible..but it is so covered in pain, neglect, hurt, suffering, need, darkness, fear…..how did THIS guy get my heart? there’s really no dream in powerplays and mind games, defiance and denial, insults and anger, hatred and frustration, darkness and demons…..I think… love cast out all fear…and there I am, curled in the corner with my pain and bruises.

Mar 10, 05:28PM PDT | 0 comments


give the first hour of every day to God (read all 4 entries…)
gap 3 years ago

so im back in DC, and have not picked this back up yet. It’s because Im so dang happy! need to….

Jun 06, 2006, 04:14AM PDT | 1 comment


have conversations late into the night with fascinating people
sleep is better 3 years ago

I don’t know what possessed me to add this one day—all my best thinking and chatting is in the morning.. the early bird, not the night owl…you’re lucky to get a coherent sentence out of me if it’s after 10….

Jun 05, 2006, 05:53PM PDT | 0 comments


See all entries ...


 

I want to:

The world wants to...

MarisaPerdue wants to pick a name for the baby see a meteor shower escape make more money live by the sea write a book Build a portable cell phone jamming device draw something every day Make Firefox my default browser start scrapbooking again get back together with an ex and do things right Learn how to put make-up on like a pro rock climb more have babies study buddhism Emily wants to Read 50 books in 2007 watch lost learn french Drive across the USA Become a wizard be featured on post secret make the guy i love love me back go from vegetarian to vegan Keep in closer contact with friends (regularly) BE MY AUTHENTIC SELF start painting again be proposed to
43 Things Login