love_a_littlemore

Neo?

No, he’s kind of old and my infatuation with him died when I turned 12.

Maybe once I know know who “the one” is, I can realistically start looking for him but until then, I will diligently keep my heart pure for him, whoever that may be.
Let’s hope he’s worth it.

yet who is capable of love?

i don’t want anyone to like me.
i want someone to love me.

Love is a horrible, scary sensation.

For instance, my current infatuation with Sondre Lerche
I know everything there is to know about him. [he’s a very talented musician]

And it gives me great pleasure and pain to listen to his music and know that I’ll most likely never see him and when I do become independent and able to use my own money on pleasurable, unnecessary indulgences, I fear my infatuation would have already worn off. The dream faded.

Even now I listen to him and wonder how I’ll feel about him once I find someone else to admire and adore.

Imagine if I loved him. What a disappointment he would be and one lesson I have learned is disappointment is disappointing. I know how shocking this sounds but it is the terrible truth.

I repeat. Love is a horrible, scary sensation.

Undoubtedly love is a disappointment.

And I’ve had felt love far too many times to want to remember or count all my reminisces.

This is all fun of games. But in the great lyrics of The Beatles Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

And today is today.

That’s going to be outrageous for some people to bear. And I can’t live in the past with some people. And the relationship is stuck in the past. We’ve all changed so much in so little time.

I’ve awoken from my slumber. And found the dream much more tantalizing than reality.