loxosceles

Careful with this one.. I got down to my goal size, double zero. Once I had gotten there, I realized I wanted them bigger, I wanted more. So I went and bought the next size up.. it turns out the material of the little squishy tunnels I bought, I was allergic to. My ears had an awful allergic reaction (an infection with bleeding and pus) and I had to take them out. Within a week my holes had shrunk back down to their original size. I had already spent so much money and time on them that I decided to just leave them out, and I’ve really been enjoying wearing normal earrings :) It was disappointing to have eight months of hard work and patience ruined like that, but I think it was for the best. I’m happy to have my ear lobes back.

the urges are starting to go away entirely. i ran out of NAC vitamins and i haven’t relapsed since.

i can’t tell you how good this feels. it’s only been 34 days and i’m already starting to forget the feeling of release i got from pulling.. and i don’t want to remember.

:) keep it up you guys, i know you can do it.

i’ve been pulling for my entire life on and off. i remember pulling out hairs in some of my earliest memories when i was a toddler. so you can imagine my disappointment after stopping for five years, relapsing at 17.

the point is, i’ve managed to not pull for 23 days now, and it has been unimaginably rewarding. if you want this enough, fellow pullers, you can do it. and after 20 days, it gets easier and easier to convince yourself to go another 20, and then maybe another two months.. and then maybe forget that you had the problem entirely.

i know that a lot of the time you don’t even notice when you’re pulling. make a conscious effort to be aware of what your hands are doing, especially when you’re watching tv or some other activity that induces pulling. when you’re watching tv, sit on your hands so that you have to move around if you want to get your hands free. then if the urge is still there, try twirling your hair, or tugging on it without actually ripping it out.

i know it’s hard, but the most important part of stopping is determination! if you feel like you can do it, you’ll be able to much easier. and if you can get past 20 days, try going 20 more! don’t allow yourself to make excuses, such as “oh, this was a really stressful time in my life, i would never have been able to stop right now..”

if you’re anything like me, your trichotillomania is accompanied by underlying anxiety issues and general nervousness. i’ve learned from experience that life is not going to get less stressful anytime soon, so i might as well stop making excuses right now.