lucious19

I’ve been on anti-deppresant since I was 16. Sometimes I think it works, sometimes I dont know. It’s just hard. It always was. And probably the hardest part is that I dont think I have any reason to be depressed. As far as it goes everything is fine in my life. So it makes me feel as if something is wrong with me,mentally. When I think about my future either I see myself in a mental instituition or dead. Life just doesn’t make any sense. But these moments pass and things get as normal as they can be. But then again it all comes back. Other people dont help either. They look at me as if I’m running some attention seeking scam. Like I think its cool to be depressed or something. “Everyone’s got problems” as if I dont know that. As if I want to play some game called “who has bigger problems”. I know everybody goes through stuffs. I’m not an idiot. I know people who have it way worse than me. A thousand times worse. But just because I can rationalize facts doesn’t mean I can control my emotions.