lumiere_du_soleil

I used to bite my nails until I would bleed. It was a nervous habit I picked up in junior high. I’d get bored, and somehow chewing my nails seemed like an unconscious good idea.

I’ve never been much of a girly girl, so I never really painted them except for things like prom, and that’s when I noticed how destroyed my nails were. That got me to stop chewing them down to the nub, but not to stop in general. You see I have a weird phobia. I cannot stand the feeling of nails scratching on cloth, especially thick ones like canvas. The feeling sends chills down my spin – think nails on a chalkboard. My nails need to be short to avoid that feeling. At the time I was in an art class and we made our own canvases, so you can see how I was tempted to gnaw.

It got really bad when I started working in the stock room of a clothing store. Stacking, folding, unpacking – and inevitably scratching – jeans and jackets really did a number on me. After a customer noticed that I was profusely bleeding onto the item I had just grabbed for her, I figured I was probably time to do something.

So I decided to get fake nails. On my lunch break one day I went to the nail place around the corner and had them give me a basic French manicure. I kept them short so that I could still function, but I noticed something. I couldn’t feel the horrible scratching sensation! So for three months (and a few in-between visits for broken ones – I did work in stock after all) I had fake nails. I only went three months because the upkeep was annoying, but it was totally worth it. I stocked up on fingernail clippers (put a pair in every purse I had), got the fakes removed and haven’t bitten them since!

Now, some may say that I should’ve just started carrying clippers with me anyway. Well, it wouldn’t have gotten rid of the urge to chew, which was a habit I had had for about 7 years, so I would’ve still chewed. The beauty of fake nails is that they’re pretty much cemented onto your finger. You can try and chew, but it’s not going to work well. I tried and just kind of bent the nail a bit. It’s a good deterrent.

I still keep my nails short, but that’s not a problem now that I have 20 nail clippers stashed all over ;) And best of all, I haven’t chewed my nails in 4 years and haven’t had even the slightest inkling of an urge.

I just decided to do this about 5 seconds ago.

I love running. I used to be a huge runner. Then I got Mono, got the crap kicked out of me by it, and three years later I’m just getting back into the swing of things. Took me a full year before I had any real energy. Now I can run about 1 1/2 miles before needing to walk. I also need better shoes, as my beat up old ones bruised my toe, which is, well, no bueno.

My only real obstacle is my back. I have slipped disk so I want to get all of that checked out before I potentially make it worse.

But anyway, this is my goal. The second the idea occurred, it made complete sense, not sure why, but it does. So there. I have to get the basics going, and then figure out what coast I’ll be on (I split time between CA and MA), although I’m thinking maybe San Francisco would be a good place. Then I could make all my friends come and cheer me on and get some good Chinese food after :). Plus they do an actual marathon, I’m sure they have a half somewhere in there.