my two best friends want to go too.
i dont even care if they get in, i mean obviously i’d love love love to be with them, but i’d go either way.
i just really need to get away from my parents, from Vancouver, from being here and being here and being here and thinking that i’ll forever be here.
i just really need to have some distance, some long stretch of empty canada between me and all my memories.
i’d love to be in Quebec again, speaking french and pretending im in Paris, because sometimes i think i really do belong in paris.
but for now, Concordia is the goal.
Sep 07, 2008, 08:22PM PDT | 0 comments
but i’ve never been SKINNY. ive been slim, as in fit enough that nobody could REALLY call me fat, but i’ve never been skinny, and i’d really love to be.
Sep 07, 2008, 08:20PM PDT | 0 comments
i really really want to find the difference between love and dependency. I think sometimes there is a fine line between thinking you love someone and thinking you need them. sometimes the one person you feel safe around isnt the one person you necessarily love. sure, you may love them as a person close to your heart, but i think it is easy to get confused between loving someone and being IN love with someone. furthermore, i believe dependency is a way of prolonging love- pretending it still exists when really only the feelings of safety and necessity remain. love is dangerous, because as soon as you admit you love someone you’ve invested all your emotions in that person, and they know that. its hard after that to not read their interactions with you as a reaction to you loving them.
i want love without these complications. without replaying phone calls in my head, questioning motifs and your past emotions to try and justify your lack of committance or lack of enthusiasm or over sensitivity or over dependence. i want love like i see on movie screens. i want to hold your hand while walking along the sea-wall, humming lyrics to OUR song and not worrying about where anything is going. i want to be consumed by the moment of being in love, and not have to wonder later if it meant more to me or if i should be more careful of your feelings, if you are falling harder than i am. i want to stumble into love with you, and have you stumble too. to know 100 percent that we are both happy, and that our mistakes may mean a lot to eachother but they cannot break the other. i want to be able to make mistakes with you, and forget past fights, and bathe in the fact that everything will be okay so long as love still consumes us.
Sep 07, 2008, 08:17PM PDT | 3 cheers | 1 comment
I'm doing 42 things
