maikeli

I’ve tried the whole Zen, Taoist thing, and for the most part, they serve as touchstones for me, but in the real world of Western thought and deed, the most appropriate course is that of action.
I’ve taught for the better part of the past four months, and I’ve had students coming at me from all angles. Some want help with their papers, others want me to stop arranged marriages back in India or Pakistan, take your pick, and still others want to come at me with research to disprove anything I say in class about the English language.
Having dealt with these continuous demands for so long now, one might think that I have long since come to grips with the constant burdens of my teaching load, but this is far from the truth. I have yet to master the art of creating a good, solid boundary, and instead, find myself always surrounded by an unebbing tide of needful people.
I suppose it is all for the best, but at the end of the semester, I cannot help but relish the moment when nary a student beckons my attention, not a soul meanders through the corridors, and there are no voice mails to plague me with this or that trivial reason and excuse for an absence that, in the grander scheme, doesn’t even matter.
Today I took off in search of a tall pint of Guinness, the company of friends, and the view of a Red Sox game. Of course, I had to make this wee trip to the local pub on my bike – I mean, with the great weather and all, how could I not oblige my wanderlust impulses a little!?
I had a couple of pints of the black, had some laughs, and ended the afternoon in quite a good way at the local biker bar up the road a piece from home. I watched the brilliant red sky as the sun slowly sank into the blooming horizon; I sipped at my Bud Light, and I let the sounds of poor karaoke sing me into the evening, and more adventures on the road – home – which was five minutes away.
But it was fun!

Making friends should be easier than it is for me. I’m a teacher. I have to be gregarious and outgoing all day. But that’s just the problem. I use up all my energy for socialization in my efforts to be a good teacher. By the time I’m done, there is little energy left to “put myself out there”.

There is also the question of what types of friends I’d like to make. I’m rather particular about the people I choose to spend time with. I’m not about to tolerate someone who wants to move a couch into my colon. I’m even less likely to befriend someone for whom drama has become a daily ritual.
Political and religious views also play a big part. Neo-Conservatives who hate immigrants, think Bush is just dandy, and that the world needs more of the US in it can just keep on walking because, as far as I’m concerned, we don’t see eye to eye. People who go to church are also not going to get along with me very well unless they never mention their beliefs. Religion is like masturbation: everyone does it, but you should keep it to yourself!
Children is another stumbling block for me. I’m not into kids. I don’t like to be around kids very much, and I don’t think someone is better or more mature or even wiser because they had a kid. “So what? You made a baby – something a dog can do.” – Bill Maher.
People who have kids can be alright as friends so long as they don’t talk about their kids all the time or crow about what great parents they are, what horrible parents others are, what great kids they have, or what terrible kids others have. I don’t have any kids, I don’t care if I ever do, and I don’t have to defend that to anyone. People who want to argue this with me can just save it for someone else, because I’m not having any of it.
Humor is another area which gives me difficulty. I have a sick, demented, absurdist mind-set. I think nothing is sacred. I believe that morbidity is funny, that handicapped jokes are not terrible, that life is hard and a gallows-humor type of take on life is very healthy. I love irony and sarcasm. I think South Park is scathingly funny, despite the over-the-top gross-out factor. I love George Carlin, Dennis Leary, Steven Wright, and Mitch Hedberg. Those who find these people disagreeable or offensive, I’m not for you.
Which brings me to political correctness. I hate it. I can’t stand self-righteousness, no matter what the cause. The holy-rollers are just as intolerable to me as the hippies. I don’t shop at LL Bean, I don’t have my own garden. I am not worried about my “carbon footprint,” and I don’t pontificate on issues such as gun control, abortion, drugs, conservatism, liberalism, terrorism, or any such ism.
”’Isms’, in my opinion
are not good. A person should not
believe in an “ism”. He should
believe in himself. John Lennon
said it on his first solo album.
“I don’t believe in Beatles, I
just believe in me.” A good point
there. Afterall, he was the Walrus.”
And finally, now that I’ve ranted to the point where few except the diehards will still be reading this, we come to sports.
I’m from Boston. I’m a BIG Boston fan. Always have been. Yankee Fans need not apply. I’m also annoyed by the band-wagoners, those Sox fans who joined up after we won it all in 2004. I actually had a lady, who was watching a broadcast on ESPN -from the house of pain – ask me, “Is this Fenway?”!!!
If you don’t know who Ted Williams was and why he was a living, albeit foul-mouthed God, if you don’t know why it’s called “Pesky’s Pole,” and if you think A-Rod would be a great addition to the Red Sox in ‘08, then you are suspect, my friend. I’ll have to keep my eye on you.
As you can see, this less-than-middle-America personality of mine weeds out a lot of people from the get-go, leaving me with a few, select friends I consider to be friends for life.
But, really, I’d like to make more! . . . given the above perameters are not insurmountable barriers to you.
Any takers?
I thought not. . .

My tattoo would serve as a personal totem, meaningful only to me, which would express some of the things I hold most dear.
Among these would be things I have always loved:
The Boston Red Sox
Harley Davidson
The Peace Corps
And would also reflect where I’ve been that has changed my life:
Boston
Europe
The Pacific -i.e., Fiji
I’d like to have a Tapa design as a background, with a Red Sox “B” in the center-foreground. I still haven’t figured out how to include Europe or Harley Davidson because I think the tattoo would become too busy-looking.
If I ever get this tattoo, it will end up on my upper left arm.
P.S.
For those of you who might ask, “What about your lady love’s name?” I have to reply, “Come on, do you really think I’m that naive?”