- playing Baldur’s Gate II Enhanced Edition (a bit), oh memories…
- yummy “Indian soyballs”
Happy birthday, Spatz! I wish you a wonderful day full of yummy goodies and celebration! And a great year to follow! :)
I’m a very inconsistent person.
I get into some idea and for a while I really want to do it, but soon something else comes along and I really want to do that too, and than something else, indefinitely. So I have this stack of good ideas in the back of my head but I don’t really go through with any of them. Because only the beginning is easy and than you have to work hard(er).
Some of them (not in any particular order): knitting (but I only got so far with my skill), guitar (easy ones only), writing a book, writing a comic book, writing at least a freaking story, writing a script (all this writing goes for a bunch of different ideas that came over time), finishing my studies and becoming a Russian Avant-garde expert, going to London, making cosmetic products, learning new languages (Swedish, Portuguese, French…),cooking, sewing, etc. And something new always comes along just as things get real with the last one.
I need focus and consistency.
I’m much better at dreaming than doing.
Huh, it’s been months since my mystery suffocating condition has passed. I still have glitches in breathing but I always did anyway, and it’s not really alarming, even though I definitely breathe somewhat worse now than before this summer (at least I try to reassure myself that that is the deal).
What bothers me and scares me is that I have no idea what it was, why it started and why it passed. I’ve seen endocrinologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist (2 of each actually), and they all said that nothing is wrong with me. At the same time my suffocating started, I also got 2 autoimmune diseases (which are both quite harmless): Hashimoto’s and vitiligo (at the moment I don’t bother much about them).
What scares me is that I’ll repeat some pattern that got me sick in the first place and I’ll get sick again. If it was psychological – did I push myself too hard (I was trying to be VERY active at the time)? Or was it something totally unrelated to anything?
A glitch in my immune system that started it all? How? And how not to let it happen again?
Or was/ am I actually sick and none of the doctors bothered to look into it deeper (I usually got answers like “You are young, there are very small chances something is wrong. So, it must be from your head.”)? What if I just collapse someday and only then (too late) they realize I was growing who-knows-what in my body.
I try to tell myself that I’m just hypochondriac and nothing is wrong. But I haven’t felt really healthy in a long time, maybe even never. So no matter how much I try not to think something is wrong, when I don’t feel well physically, I cannot NOT think of the possibilities. And people tell me that I’m just imagining, and I accept that, but if I just die someday I really want on my tombstone to be written “I told you so.”. :)
Finally done with modern art part 1/4.
Meaning (added to the rest): Cubism, Fauvism, German expressionism, Vienna Secession (although lacking many infos on it), Schiele… That was all we did on modern 1/4 curse on University, but much is needed to fill the holes in knowledge. But it’s not urgent because it isn’t really the period I’m most interested in. Next: modern art 2/4 aka the avant-gardes, woohoo.
Important stuff I will actually have exams from: did 1 page today. :)
Better something than nothing.
Well I’m 99% sure what I’ll be getting for my giftee. But now it started to snow and it’ll be a drag to go for planned shopping tomorrow if the city turns all white and icy, haha. However, I’m planning to send by December 1st!!
Ho, ho, ho!
A slow, horribly windy and sleepy day… but: