maxfischer

After several attempts at staying sober strictly on my own willpower, I hit the wall again. Each time seems to be worse. I know that any recovery that is going to stick will need me to supplement my own strength with a 12 step program. I am beginning meetings this week in hopes that it will stick. I look at some of my old posts and try to remember what a beter life it is without alcohol. To be more peaceful and healthy and happy has to be more enjoyable than a constantly racing mind, a churning stomach, a sloppy appearance and an unsharpened mind.

Its been 96 days sober and it has felt great. Of course their is still temptation and the mental struggle of thinking of drinking but I have pretty much lost the taste for it. I have been in bars, restaurants and parties where many people have been drinking, and it has been an empowering feeling to be sober and to observe the drunkeness of the others. I am still taking it day by day, but it feels good to wake up with a clear head every day.

Still not feeling 100% but who does. Its taking longer too fall asleep because I dont have the alcohol to help. Feeling kind of strange, can’t stay focused, mind is wandering and restless. Too many thoughts. Hopefully as my sobriety continues my restlessness will subside. I am not craving a drink, I just want to relax.