I finally kicked it into gear and got into a local community college near my home. I applied for aide w/ FAFSA, but it won’t kick in in time for my semester. So I’m paying $150 for the next 5 months, which is not too terribly bad at all. I’m going to be taking 3 classes a week while still working 40+ hours at work and spending time w/ Luke. Whew. I’m not sure where I expect to find the energy to do it all, but I figured if I waited to answer that question, I’d be 60 before I made it back. Sleep when you’re dead, right?? :) LOL. I’m taking English and Psyc, as well as dumb girl math. It’s the pre-college college math course, but it’s been 6 years since I’ve done anything else but simple addition, so I guess it’s all good. I’m soo excited!!! I start Wednesday – that’s 5 days away!!! :) I DID IT!!!!
maxrenae12's Life List
1. STOP lying
2. Pass out flowers at a nursing home
3. Throw a gourmet dinner party
4. Write and share a new song
5. Pay off my credit cards
6. Make more friends
7. Save $1000 dollars
8. perform on stage
9. Teach my son to read
10. Lay on the top of a mountian w/ someone and listen to Coldplay's "Yellow"
11. Throw an 80's party
12. get a tattoo
13. Stop using the word "like" in conversation
How I did it: Just get up and do it. Seriously! I've wanted to go back to school SO BAD for so long!!! It was always something. "I have no time." I have a 2 year old and work full time, as well as play in a softball league. Once I sat down and looked at my schedule, I found slots of time where I would normally find things to do. So I signed up for classes during that time. "It's expensive!" Well, I'm a single mom and I don't make a whole lot … Read how I did it…
I have lied for as long as I can remember.
I can’t remember why I started or what made me feel like I have to hide everything about me.
I can’t remember the moment it took over and became a way of life.
All I know is that now, it’s desroying everything.
It’s like a poison to your soul. And it will slowly kill everything you hold close to you.
I can’t stop.
I’ve hurt so many people.
I’ve lost the one person who ever tried to help me overcome it. He forced me to realize that I was going as far as lying to myself over stupid matters. All he asked for was honesty and I failed miserably. I drove him away, destroying our family in the process.
Okay. That’s something I’ll have to live w/. I can take it.
What I can’t take is the paralyzing fear that if I couldn’t change for something i valued so much, can I change at all?
I want to say yes.
I NEED to say yes.
I’m so sick of it all! I’m tiered of not remembering who I told what and trying to keep everything straight and having to hide and working to keep up this facade.
I should be focusing this energy elsewhere.
And I’m no kind of role model for my son.
This ends today.
So I’ve started on teaching my 2 year old son how to read. I’ve already taught him the entire alphabet. He knows them by sight. We’ve now started with the sounds of the letters. A friend of mine who has been a teacher for many years gave us a DVD cartoon that is helping him learn the sounds. He’s doing quite well. He picks up on things rather quickly. He is already interested in books and asks to be read to constantly. Hopefully, we can keep this up so that he is reading on his own by age 3!